I heard from him.
I was surprised, but not surprised.
Before we broke his daughter was trying for a bar tending job she really wanted and she got it. She was so excited and I was happy for her and wanted to give her a little something. I had been telling him for months that she needed a real leather belt, so I figured this would be a good gift. I purchased it before we broke up.
Then promptly forgot about it until it was too late to cancel it. That’s fine. The girl has no strong adult women figures in her life and zero female encouragement, and she needed a belt. I knew the sentiment would be welcome.
The belt finally arrived mid week this week and I received a sweet little text from her. I replied with positive encouragement and a note about how I knew she would do well in the future blah blah.
The next morning, I received the first communication from Scott:
I was surprised at his text, but it was thoughtful. It didn’t set me back which was more surprising to me.
The next day I received another text from him asking for my referral code to buy a Peloton. I replied with the code and nothing else (I get money for the referral so I wasn’t turning it down!).
I was due to see a friend that evening and she’s fabulous with makeup so I asked her if she minded doing my makeup and taking some fresh photos for me so I would have updated profile pics for the dating apps and social media. While I was in her chair getting glam and we were discussing him, she asked what I thought and, before I realized what I was saying, I said I knew he would be reaching out again.
So that’s when it hit me. I think I knew, maybe, after the first text. But I knew, certainly, after the second. My gut told me that he was struggling with the reversal of me not reaching out to him as I had done almost every time in the past.
I went out with my friend and didn’t give him texting me another thought. Of course we spoke about him, but more about how I was ha doing it and what I was feeling and how I was taking one day at a time. I said that when he sent me the second text, something inside me released him.
Perhaps it was knowing that he missed me or that he cared. Or that he hurt. Maybe I needed the validation. Quite likely. Either way, I had noticed a small shift.
As it also happened, during the day I had my therapy appt and it was very constructive as I started to realize I had bigger fish to fry than Scott. I am facing serious life challenges ahead and can’t afford to have a partner who is anything less than supportive right now. Just like I would at work, I need to prioritize. I can date and have fun and find a fun partner to pal around with during the summer if I want, but my focus needs to be on what I’m doing with my home and career and I don’t need additional turmoil.
Of course the moment you put these things into the universe, the universe likes to throw in some twists and turns.
Scott text again this morning.
I haven’t replied. I will reply because I am not an asshole. I just don’t know what to reply. I miss my friend. But, I am not going back into relationship with Scott. Full stop. I am not going back into relationship with Scott.
You may feel I am being harsh, but the text doesn’t ring true to me and like all things Scott, I can’t pinpoint why. Maybe because he’s told me he’s never cried a day in his life and certainly not over a woman. Maybe because he’s told me he’s never had a broken heart. Or maybe it was the look in his eyes and face those last days and moments when he was so shut down to me.
Tell me what you think about the text and what I could reply that is kind and leaves a door open for a friend, in some future.