First Therapy Session In Ages

First Therapy session since some time in the summer of 2019. I recall the last one being some kind of Tony triggering a phone call to the therapist on a sunny day in some kind of anxiety ridden panic.

Funny how I don’t feel that way anymore.

Today I feel some sort of anxiety, but I can ride this wave, its not the same, its so much ore moderated and full of disappointment.

It felt good to get started but I hate how slow it goes, I want to word vomit it all and have her brain spill all its knowledge and understanding back at me so we can solve my emotional dilemmas and move on.

I know I’m facing a few big ones: selling the house, moving, failure, leaving the kids, being alone, ending a relationship etc. Today we focused on the most accessible: ending the relationship with Scott. She wants me to reread Attached as well as another book called The emotionally Unavailable Man by Patti Henry. I’m always open for new thoughts to grow with and learn from.

This all just sucks

I know the only way through is through.

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

One thought on “First Therapy Session In Ages”

  1. Ah ha! I think your therapist hit the nail on the head with the book recommendations, especially the one about the Emotionally Unavailable Man.
    My hopes for you is once you start healing from the ended relationship, (which by the way you need to stop seeing yourself as a failure for its demise.) (You two were just not compatible in a few ways in which you both could not get past), you will then be more able to focus on all the other things changing in your life and be stronger to do so. Earlier you had written about being angry. Well, from my own experience, that is a stage in healing and moving on.
    Hang in there Miss M!!! You’ve come through so much already and are better for it. Focus on how much better you are now after your surgery, and etc. You got through it, and though it may seem daunting now, I trust that you will be alright again. Glad you sought out some help. That shows you are strong. XO!!


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