I live close to one of the Covid19 epicenters, but not close enough that my kids understand why I’m panicked.
My wound opened up a couple weeks back after the surgeon tried to cauterize it again. I also think I’ve had a weight gain that’s causing pressure on the adhesions and it’s partially why it hurts and is oozing. Either way, I have open wound.
I wasn’t concerned before the announcements about the sports leagues and now all 3 kids with indefinite school closings. But, now I am. And my kids think I’m being irrational. The one who is giving me the hardest time is the one who always gives me a hard time.
The bottom line, I don’t want him hanging out with his friends at night at parties playing drinking games. He’s not especially careful, this one, and the kids are all coming home from various colleges. They all have parents and families with different levels of exposure. The smallest group is like 12-15 kids. He thinks I’m crazy and has made it quite clear I’m the only parent that’s crazy and irrational. I know my kid, he doesn’t wash his hands enough. He doesn’t think about the risks.
When I tried to speak to him it turned into a screaming match because(just like his father) he kept at me like a battering ram. I kept my voice low and moderated and explained why I was scared. I explained how the disease can travel quickly. I explained I was worried that I am always immunocompromised and I had an open wound.
His answers were:
I didn’t do that to you (my surgeries)
No one else parents are concerned
This is no different than me being in Canada for 4 days for Spring break (that was Monday – Thursday before I began to worry)
This is no different than me being at work (in a restaurant)
When I suggested he can do all the things he wanted but needed to live with his Dad in the meantime, I found out his Dad has his girlfriend there and my kids are not welcome. The Dad spoke to my son to tell my son to follow my rules until his girlfriend left and then he could stay there. As usual, my x’s priorities are himself.
My son told me he has “no where to go” if I make him leave. I told him he has only 1 more night to stay home then he can do whatever he wants because he can live with his Dad until this passes. His answer: I can’t live with my Dad his apartment is too small and it’s not my home. You’re crazy. You do this to me all the time. No one else is this crazy. This is my Spring Break.
Of course I’ve been crying since. Why am I being penalized that his father has not created a home for him? Why is it ok he can’t live with his Dad, but not ok to follow my house rules. Why is he so selfish and entitled that he simply does not understand how sick I was (this none didn’t live at home while I was sick so didn’t see it first hand, but he’s been home the last year).
I suppose it could be worse. He’s not a bad kid, just a self entitled little shit. His brothers are entirely different and can he trusted to stay safe and at home – though I have allowed them to visit one friend at a time whose parents I know well. Even then, it’s risky, but I watch them come in and wash hands and change while their brother doesn’t even wash his hands unless I stand there and make him.
The fathers answer to all of this: when I move into my mothers basement they will always have a place to go. Not helping with this problem and his mother is 86….so how would that solve the problem of our son coming and going recklessly? He’s no father, never has been, I just wish I learned how to accept that.
I can’t wait for the mandatory curfew to start so my child has some control over his movements. Even then I bet he thinks it’s dumb and he can still do what he wants. Cases are found in his college and the town next to us and he still says “no one we know has it so we won’t get it.” I’m if the belief we need to quarantines best as possible until this is resolving. Better safe than sorry.