So I’m going to try a new dating app called Hinge. Tinder is too much for men who are not serious, Bumble is ok but I’m frustrated after John, and Match is downright disgusting.

So far, I like the app. You have to post 6 photos and there’s 3 questions to answer which can range from funny to serious. There is some required info and some additional info you can add. The filter system is overall better than the other apps. I’ve seen lots of new faces and some older ones from the other apps too. We shall see how it goes.

I’m not pining over John and it may sounded like more than it was since I wrote 3 posts, but it was no more than a good connection he’s not interested in pursuing. That sucks, but such is life.

What did I learn?

There is, in fact, another man similar to Tony in values, communication and behavior. I think that’s what caused the most excitement because he’s the first I found.

My boxes can be checked and I don’t have to compromise. However, it may mean a very long wait for another good man to pop up.

He reinforced that my physical “requirements” in a man are flexible if I feel like there is decent substance. He was 6’1″ but super narrow from his face all the way down – I have always preferred more meat on man. Sex was just fine with a small penis, because he was very good. It definitely isn’t as immediately pleasurable as it is with a larger penis and requires some additional work, but it was nice to learn that doesn’t need to be as heavily considered (and yes, I’ve had almost all large men in my life so I was a bit jaded.).

He was ambitious, kind, emotionally generous and fun. He was a great Dad. He travels often and love the lessons learned from travel. I know my list is long but somehow he checked all the right boxes in the right combination.

I agree too much texting and talking before a date is detrimental. But only because it seems the men can’t manage it – I love it and don’t see how it really matters. I also don’t agree in an immediate meeting without a proper vetting. So I will go back to making good choices and only move forward with the ones I really find appealing so I’m not wasting my time.

So here’s to hoping there are other Tony, Bobby’s and Johns out there who are ready for relationship. And that I can find them through all the flotsam and jetsam of the dating world.

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

17 thoughts on “Hinge”

  1. I like Hinge and I’ve had several Hinge dates… but I’m finding that the app doesn’t really matter as much as I thought it did. The same dudes are everywhere. Same dudes, different medium.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The reason it matters is because moving quickly (as in, within a week) to a brief coffee or drink meeting weeds out those who aren’t serious about meeting.

    And it also prevents one from assuming too much about someone based on their communication.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t believe in the brief meeting in lieu of the phone call or a little time spent chatting. It’s always proven to be a complete waste of my time and its easier to vet with the call. But I get your point.


      1. I didn’t say it was instead of a phone call. My very strong recommendation is a couple days of texting to establish the basics, then a phone call, then arrange a coffee or drink date to occur within a couple of days.

        Generally speaking anyone who wants to spend more time than this – or can’t meet quickly – isn’t serious about doing so. There are a few exceptions with those who travel but those who drag it out either only want something online, or they are all about the flirt and catch, or they have too many people on the go.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I can’t spend more time meeting for coffee or quickly. And I’m serious.

        But I will only meet people I feel are worth meeting. After seeing if there is any chemistry on the phone. If not I don’t bother anymore.

        And he was in India – it was an unfortunate happenstance and I shouldn’t have let the texting continue. I’m sure I would have still met him, fooled around and ended with a similar outcome.


  3. I like meeting quickly so that I can figure out if the in person chemistry is there. I know many can establish this through a phone call, but for whatever reason I can’t, I need to see the person and their mannerisms etc to really get a feel for the chemistry and connection. I also have a tendency to build an impression of someone in my mind and then feel disappointed at the final meeting if we had chatted to long. I’d rather find out early that it’s not a match and not spend all that time chatting.
    Everyone is different in this, and it really sounds like you know what works for you and that’s awesome. I’ve not looked at Hinge but I’m in Canada so not sure its a thing here?! I do wish you luck with it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sassy! I do prefer to meet quickly – this was an exception as he was traveling. I should have kept conversation to a minimum while he was traveling and was feeling he was pretty interested but I guess I was wrong.


      1. I always have to remind myself that words and chemistry can both be fleeting. It’s the actions over time that are the true measure of character. I detest when men behave the way that he did. I feel like he was looking for some entertainment while he was away and found that, I always call bullshit when peopleSay they don’t know what they’re looking for. That statement right there screams I just want casual hook ups.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I was hoping that he was actually a stand up guy and would tell the truth about why he didn’t want to see me again. He’s still on the dating app so he’s looking for something. Why not just come clean? And I agree with you about actions.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I don’t think there’s anything that you could’ve done differently or anything that was done on your part that would’ve change the outcome of this unfortunately.

        Liked by 1 person

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