Anthony was my last date before my 2 week hiatus from the dating apps. He was the first man to meet who worked in my industry, so we had plenty to speak about. It took about 3 weeks of back and forth to finally meet. He was consistent in following up, but never spoke for too long as we attempted to make plans. I was clear I wanted to meet him, but our times were just not lining up.
We finally landed on a date last Friday night.
I was pleasantly surprised when he walked in. I thought he was good-looking in the photo, but more cute than handsome. My opinion changed upon meeting him. He was 6′ tall and solid. He was very charming and engaging.
We had a lovely dinner that lasted at least 3 hours, then he asked me to the bar for one more drink. We spent another hour together. During dinner we chatted about so many subjects and laughed easily. He was kind, well-mannered, gregarious and easy to talk to. We shared plates and he was sure to put food on my plate and watch my wine glass. He knew exactly how much I ate and drank. You know I love these small things.
He walked me to my car and I admit I leaned in for a kiss…that he didn’t seem too interested in returning! Oh! A bit of a surprise there, honestly.
We had spent close to 5 hours together by the time we separated and headed home. He text to check if I was home. I replied that I was and thanked him for a lovely evening and he replied he had a nice evening as well.
I would guess I am not going to hear from him again, though I can’t put my finger on just what it was that had him go from interested to not interested. It could have been when he said (again) “you can call me Tony” and I reeked with “But, I love Anthony!” and he noted “oh, that’s the x?” and I nodded in agreement. It could have been as he was questioning me about what’s next in life and I said I didn’t know, multiple times, until I finally joked it away saying “perhaps I will just marry a rich man!” It could have been anything. I admit I am unsure, but I felt it at the very end and perhaps I missed earlier cues once we were at the bar.
Maybe it’s a vibe I’m giving off during this weird phase I’m in. When anyone meets me, I am at my best-most-confident-self. It’s a bit hard to reconcile that with a woman who has been unemployed for almost 6 months. Clever men pick up on it quickly and also seem to want more direct answers as to “what am I doing next.” I really went over the date in my mind, but couldn’t pick a point that turned the date in the wrong direction.
Maybe I spoke too much about my kids or my x (kids maybe, didn’t really discuss x though). Not enough chutzpah about finding a job sooner? Men are definitely put off by me not working when they get the vibe that I’m well spoken and educated. The two don’t fit together: being unemployed and bored doesn’t mean with my personality and it’s confounding them. Maybe they don’t want the younger entitled kids to deal with or think my hands are too full. I really can’t pinpoint the last few I’ve lost from the calls and first date.
Oh well, one more week of no dating apps is just fine for me. The fun can begin next week again!
By the time this posts the apps will be back on after a full 10 day break. So let’s see what happens in the next batch!