I wish I had some feeling, any feeling about the text I sent to Tony’s wife.
I have been drained since then, but not in the way I am normally emotionally drained. I haven’t had a period in 60 days now and I had awful cramps early in they day. Maybe this is from the polyps that need to be removed. Some of it is surely from the emotional disturbance but it’s not what I would normally experience.
The drugs are doing their part and, I suppose, I am further into excising him than I thought. I made it so he would never reach out to me again, killed all hope and crushed any reason to think he could remember us with anything except remorse.
I plan to take one more day to myself and then physically change what I’ve been doing. I did it and I’m moving on. She replied succinctly:
“Thank you for your concern for me however I think you need to be more concerned with whatever it is you are going through.
I really don’t need to hear anymore from you about this as I have known about this since last July when you texted me from a random phone number.”
Last July, while very drunk, I forwarded her a profile photo of him on a dating site. I never admitted it to anyone, but of course they had to know it was me.
He claims he told her it was a joke and she didn’t know anything. Based on his response to my text Tuesday, I tend to think her reply was gracious enough to tell me to shut up while pretending she knows more than she did. Or maybe she suspected he was lying. Either way, he did actually tell me he never told her about our affair or he made up a different version.
That’s all the time I am going to spend on it. I did what I say out to do, told her and made him regret ever meeting me.
The emptiness continues, but I’m forcing a change in myself immediately.
I am promising myself, and you, that this is the end of Tony. He is in the rest view mirror and I am moving on. If his wife can take pity on me, I need to take pity on myself.