Struggling

I am struggling right now not to write to Tony’s wife.

I made it worse because I reached out to him to find I was blocked.

I got angrier and angrier until he replied. He claims she got a text and told his kids and now everything is my fault. His life crashing around him is my fault. I haven’t seen him since April and spoken to him in 6/7 weeks.

Now I really just want to write and tell the truth. Fuck him, if I wrote it won’t be some mysterious text.

I am trying very hard right now not to hit send.

I have nothing left to lose and maybe this will just end it for me once and for all.

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

5 thoughts on “Struggling”

  1. Hmmm.. I really don’t know what you should do. Have you considered that either he may be lying about the text just to deter you from doing anything else? Does he know about the email you have drafted to send to her?
    Or perhaps it’s another woman who sent her a text. Sorry, but once a cheater, always a cheater. Sorry if this upsets you.
    I wish you could just banish him from your thoughts and life for good!!
    Be at peace which you so rightly deserve.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed that it’s wise to assume that Tony has probably had other significant lovers both during his Madeline phase and after (even now, which would be another reason why he’s been cool towards Madeline). M – please do not respond or get involved.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Wait, what happened over there? Do you know what this text is that he said she claimed to get? Don’t do anything yet, please. From the sounds of things, he’s already getting his just desserts and you don’t have to enter the splatter zone.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad you wrote. That says that there’s part of you that knows that getting involved is going to be destructive and painful. If you are still struggling and reading, can you just get up from your computer, put all of your devices in quarantine, and get up and do something else? Please? Call a friend. Might be useful to talk about something other than this. Something boring and mundane. Go to the store and buy milk and eggs. Whatever.

    Liked by 1 person

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