I set some small goals for January and wanted to check in to see how I was doing:
Review and edit my resume and social profiles: completed, waiting for the final resume from the resume writer
Make a list of contacts and actively begin a search: did not do
Utilize outplacement website and webinars: did not do
Ensure all job search sites are set up properly for my searches: did not do
*Major fail in this area. If I am not working by Mach 1st we have a serious financial issue.
Choose an exercise to stick with and develop a routine: thought about it every day and did nothing.
Learn yoga or meditation: forgot I even set this as a goal.
Create 2019 calendar: done. Disconnected from the family calendar so x can no longer see anything of mine unless it specifically affects him/kids.
Migrate addresses and birthdays to phone: started, not completed.
Give Keto eating a try: done. 2 weeks in and working well. I feel an energy boost and added mental clarity.
*Not a lot of improvement. I cannot get the exercise going and believe me I do have 10 minutes a day.
Remember unemployment Monday’s: I forgot last Monday 😦
Submit bonds for processing: done. Though with the shutdown this may impede and access to funds I was hoping for by February 1st.
Sort out S1 and S2 school immediately: done.
*Somewhat better achievement in this area, except if I don’t sort out the job part soon, money will be a huge concern.
Deep clean: bathroom floors/grout: haven’t given this a second thought.
Put away Christmas decor: done.
Help son rearrange bedroom: when he’s ready, otherwise, I am not pushing.
Purchase rug for basement and mop floors: haven’t given this a second thought either.
*I realize how much I don’t want to care for my home anymore. It feels overwhelming and huge. Every time I look around I see dollar signs. I no longer get the joy from the home I used to, but it is a lovely family home we all feel comfortable in.
At the end of the day, I have zero motivation. Every step I take requires major energy drains. It feels like all the strong has been sucked out of me for good.
I can’t figure out this new me….I can’t find what’s going to give me the push I need. In 51 years I have never been so wholly unmotivated and directionless. And, what scares me most is the sense of being devoid of feeling.
Therapy is this week and it will have to be the last session until I’m employed. I’m going to try to keep writing though.