As much as I would love to read and respond to everyone’s great comments, I can’t focus that long yet! But thank you, truly.
First, I’m up and about. I’ve had complications, I’m ok, just in some pain. Questioning why the fuck I came to Mexico alone to cut out my stomach. This was a sort of death wish, I know. So I have to gather my will and get well and get out of here.
As for the letter, it’s so disjointed and vicious it’s not something I would send. It was my brain dump.
I do not actually want to hurt his wife – I want to hurt him and there’s no other way to do it plain and simple.
Do I want to dismantle his marriage? My answer to that is – I want to cause him irrevocable pain for lying to me and I do not believe under any circumstance that it will matter to his marriage when she finds out. It will be a blip in their life and they will go on.
I don’t want to be ugly like this which is why I wrote the letter: better out than in.
I don’t actually plan to send it, but one never knows with me. I do know that now is not the time. Now is the time for me to heal and I’m hoping getting over Bennett is a by-product if my body healing now.