Here I am at the airport. I am nervous as hell. What if this is one big mistake?
My track record for surgery sucks but I am willing this to be different.
I need this reset.
I cleaned my closet and got rid of clothes I wasn’t wearing (fat or not fat, they should have been donated). I pulled out two dresses I could never fit into …. they were my goal dresses in early 2016 and I never made it to my goal.
Here are my stats:
I am 5’8″
Heaviest weight pre 2014: 255 lbs
Starting weight: 213.6 lbs
Weight today: 206.1 lbs
My goal weight is going to be 145 lbs. I haven’t weighed that since the pregnancy of my 3rd child in 2002.
I have fought weight my entire life. Up and down. I was about 124 lbs the day I was married in 1994. It was the only time in my life that anyone ever said I looked too thin. I struggled at 130 lbs but held 140-150 lbs for many years through my 20s and early 30s. It was the only period of time my weight semi-stabilized.
It’s too easy for me to gain weight and at my age now, too hard to lose.
I don’t need to be skinny but I need to drop these last 65+ pounds from my body for good.
I do worry about dropping shoes sizes since I have a precious shoe collection! And I’m worried about my boobs dropping too much. I am super busty with a 38H.
So let’s see how it goes. I fly into San Diego today and transfer to Tijuana for a hotel overnight. Then my surgery is scheduled for Friday morning. I can feel myself shaking but that could also be coffee withdrawal!