Long Days

When you don’t have much to do, and no prospect of the future bringing something different, it can be quite boring.

I sleep close to 10-11 hours each night. And I’m still tired. Part of that is depression, part of that is the lethargy of a liquid diet.

I read so many books in August I got book lethargy so I took a break. I plan to bring 2 books to Mexico.

I had to start taking laxatives and everything goes though me like water so I’m not far from the bathroom. When I drink I am consciously trying to slow myself down from gulping. They say that’s going to hurt later on so I’m trying to practice sipping now. I sleep on my tummy with my mouth open and sometimes I wake in the night dying of thirst and my tongue scaly like a lizard skin, so I down an entire bottle of water….I won’t be able to sleep on my tummy or drink that fast so I wonder how that will work? Speaking of, what happens after a workout? I can drink a full bottle of water full on when I’m working out and sweaty!

I have had lots of my Isagenix product leftover so being on mostly liquids wasn’t as challenging as I thought since I’ve done something “close” back in 2014. I like the protein shakes and drink mixes. I even found a peanut butter powder additive that makes them absolutely tasty! I am such a peanut butter addict! I miss chewing and recall that sensation when I did the fasting on Isagenix. It’s a weird thing not to chew for a while.

I cheated yesterday because I made the stereotypical bbq for Labor Day and couldn’t resist a hot dog! I took two big bites. Perhaps that was my food funeral.

One of my friends who has the sleeve told me her dirty secret – she stopped losing because she worked through the pain of eating things she just wanted to eat. I’m pretty sure it feels as horrible as it sounds. She lost 70 pounds and then kept her food addiction. The entire point is to break the addiction, not find a way around it. I truly hope this is what I am able to do.

I purposely haven’t had any Prosecco for close to a month now. It may be my favorite drink but I don’t think it’s worth any pain. It was the only carbonated beverage I drank.

I have been trying to move more every day but yesterday and today were lame….I love the Netflix series “Ozark” and have been binging. The second season is like a race to a heart attack, it’s so good. So I barely got in 2k steps but I did ride my bike for 6 miles and then 10min arms and 5min abs on the Peleton app yesterday but didn’t make more than 2500 steps in both days. Not a complete failure, but I need to really focus that the 10k steps should be considered the price of entry on a daily basis.

Bennett has been on my mind. I know it’s because I’m ovulating. I cannot allow myself to text him. I need to just focus on something, anything else until the feeling goes away.

Two small wins for the day were my company extended my benefits for a month (the package said they were complete on my last day and it caught me by surprise) and my second son likes his local college film classes. Exercise didn’t happen, but I accomplished small errands such as getting a birthday package out to college son 1 and birthday card/gift for college son 2. Also made it to the bank.

My goal for tomorrow is some exercise, send two resumes, pack and a pedi/mani. It’s my youngest first day of school so it will require an early morning breakfast for everyone!

Today counts as our last day of summer around here and I welcome the start of our Fall routine. The weather may even cooperate.

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

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