Date Night Every Night

I had a plan for every night this week and it exhausted me!

Fun, but I realize this speed isn’t for me anymore.

Monday night I met Scott. Scott works for a company based close to my hometown, but lives in Dallas. Divorced, older children in college, handsome, very tall and quite sweet. He travels at least once a month to his home office. We must have matched on a previous trip here, and then it just so happened when we connected he was back for an entire week, just 15 minutes from my home.

We spent some time texting then moved to a phone conversation. While his long distance home wasn’t ideal, his daughter was graduating high school next year and he was looking to transfer to the home office late next year. I figured, why not? He seemingly had a lot of great qualities and we gelled easily on the phone.

He was super easy on the eyes in person too. We met late Monday night and had a great time for several hours, closing down the bar around 11pm. A lovely kiss goodnight by the side of the car and an agreement to meet again at least once before he left.

Tuesday rolled around and while I had made plans the previous week with Clell, I hadn’t heard from him since the Thursday before when we made the plans. I did ask him to text me over the weekend so we could get to know one another a little more, before the first date, but he didn’t. I was surprised around lunchtime when he text to confirm the date – and I told him so. I had worn boring clothes and no makeup to work, hardly my best presentation. He was quite keen to meet so I eventually succumbed. I had to work late and a dinner wouldn’t be horrible before heading home.

Clell was handsome in his own way, he desperately needed a haircut, but was well dressed and had sweet Southern charm. He was obviously surprised by me in person and eventually told me so: much more beautiful than any of your photos. I tried, very hard, to connect with Clell. I asked questions about work, food, family, hobbies, college. Nothing I said could get him going enough to really engage. I found myself talking way too much to fill the space. I eventually became somewhat uncomfortable because I had committed to dinner. We made it through some shared apps and chose to end it there. The weather was terrible outside so he didn’t offer to walk me back to my office, which was fine. He did lean in for a kiss and I politely kissed his check but he pulled me in for more and I had to be more obvious by turning my cheek. He told me he looked forward to seeing me again soon and jumped out to haul a cab.

Generally I will text a thank you and a decline if that’s how the date goes, but while I was on my car ride home I heard from Dave – who I met and dated briefly back in April. I liked Dave quite a bit, but he was the first sincere experience I had with “breadcrumbing” and I never knew why he disappeared. It didn’t matter much as I wasn’t out of relationship with Bennett.

Dave was back on Bumble and we matched and I had said “hi! Hope you’re well!” And he reached out to my in reply via text. His name didn’t come up as I had deleted the contact but he said it was him. We text back and forth a bit and after about 15 minutes or so, I said “well, lovely catching up, would love to get together so let me know your availability if your interested!” And I signed off. He sent a few more text but I didn’t read them, then.

Wednesday comes and I am due to have a date with Greg, the supposed Dom. After we stopped talking he reached out with a much better disposition and we started to get to know one another. He still had plenty of red flags, but I didn’t see any harm in meeting him.  Turns out he twisted his knee and had to head to his orthopedic so we didn’t meet Tuesday and planned for Saturday instead.  I ended up working until almost 10pm on a project that may just kill me.

Thursday I met Bennett for dinner to finish the talk we started last week.  We had a lovely time and we were both much more relaxed than usual.  We seem to have fallen into an easier cadence, but knowing me and how jealous I often get, I can’t imagine this lasts long.

Friday morning Dave reached back out to me and asked my plans, but didn’t solicit a date.  So after a few more text I once again stated “If you are interested…” and his reply was “I am definitely interested!” but with no indication of when or where we would ever meet.  He’s still dropping his breadcrumbs so I quickly lost interest.  Had he tried even a tiny bit more I may have given him another shot – he was an amazing kisser!

Scott also reached out so I agreed to meet him a bit later in the evening.  He originally wanted to come into my city, but that fell apart, which was fine as I was so tired at this point.  We met at a local pub and had some drinks, and then he drove me home.  The vibe between us wasn’t quite the same as Monday night and I can’t really say why, except my guess is I was a bit overwhelming for him.  He had asked quite a bit about my roles and responsibilities at work and made a comment that he had no interest in so much responsibility.    It’s the only thing I can really put my finger on.  I invited him in for a nightcap, and he came in and wanted to see the house, so I gave him the short tour, we sat on the couch and kissed and the chemistry – which seemed pretty good on Monday, – was all but gone.  Honestly, I was probably too tired to see him and not invested enough on this date to turn it around.  I let him go quickly and said goodnight and just realized I forgot to follow up with a “Thank you.”  I haven’t heard from him.

Saturday was a snow storm so I didn’t end up meeting Greg, but had a lovely day with my boys decorating the house and tree.

Bennett was on a boys weekend down in Florida, but checked in often and I noticed some of his usual sweet nothings making their way back into his conversation, which is nice.  I also noticed that it irritates me I would never have that time with him, a vacation, or days together and I kept my chatter to a minimum to avoid thinking about it any further.  If I stay here with him in whatever this relationship is, I am going to have to put up and shut up.  And part of that is learning to quiet my own mind.

And, every once in a while, Dan (who was R in the previous blog) pops back in with some sexy talk and trying to convince me to see him.  He’s another one who wants the woman to chase him.    I would love to see him, we always have fun, but I’m not chasing.  He did send one very hot photo though – yum.

I assume that Dave and Scott are out of the picture for good, which is fine.  Greg and I will continue to try and meet – he did ask if he could exchange a Christmas present with me but I suggested we meet first, and going into holiday season I have no idea when that could be.  And, Dan, I haven’t heard from him since the one quick text session, as expected.

For now I have stopped looking at Tinder and Bumble as the next few weeks are filled with family and friends.  If Greg and I meet, I am sure he can fill up any additional time and I am sure to see Bennett after some of the parties.  All in all, my head is in a better space, but I also think it’s because I am anxious at work lately – maybe I can only process so much at one time?  Normally work doesn’t make me this anxious, but my boss is especially tough at the moment and I am learning how to navigate this landscape.


Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

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