Date 5: A Well Needed Success

I wrote about the lack of engagement on the dating sites here and here  and my point was to demonstrate how shallow I feel the pool has become this year.  I do think my age plays a part, but I am not changing my age on the app just to secure more dates.  I am not in a frame of mind for casual sex these days so there’s really no point.  I no longer want any casual encounters, I am looking for someone with whom I can endeavor to have a decent relationship with.

It’s slow going for me because I am so particular.  Lots of things matter to me.  I don’t mind taking it slow to get it right this time around.  I know the magical combination I need to get things going and I am willing to wait for it.

I matched with a few men and shared some text back and forth and two moved to personal text as they both showed merit.  They were both nice looking, well-educated, divorced, older children and employed.  As an added bonus, both were over 6′ tall and liked to travel.  Check, check, check and check.

I met Dan first, last Friday.  He had a very amicable divorce and was only starting to date within the last few months.  He traveled often for work and was starting up his own business.  He dressed to impress, but wasn’t well dressed (yes, this from the fashionista I can be).  He had an easy smile and plenty to talk about.

He arrived to the restaurant first and we were due to meet in the bar.  I was surprised when he secured a table for us and said he would prefer to have dinner.  We had had two phone conversations and the talk flowed easily so I wasn’t especially worried.

He was nice-looking and I was able to wear 5′ heels which is always fun for me.  I knew he was attracted quickly as he had those long appreciative glances, no complaints there!

Dinner and drinks went well, he grew on me as the night moved along.  We were together for quite some time, perhaps almost 4 hours, and there was no break in the conversation or laughter.  He was engaging, but no special sparks.  I knew I was a bit off because I wanted to keep drinking, I think I miss Bennett when I start to have a good time.  Not that it’s a conscious thought per se, just that I assume that’s what’s underneath the way I feel.

Towards the end of dinner he slipped over to my side of the beech and asked if he could kiss me and I complied.  His kisses were gentle with just the right touch of aggression when he put his hand under my hair and pulled my head forward and tightly to his mouth.  I would like to say I felt something other than a good kiss, but I didn’t.

We walked out of the restaurant holding hands and kissed for a bit at the car.  He tried to convince me to leave and go to another bar, but I declined and headed home.

We had agreed to meet again, though scheduling is difficult with his work travel.  This week Chicago and mid next week,  Australia for 2 weeks.  He has stayed in “just enough” contact these last few days, making sure to comment on things he knew I was doing as well as an article he read about my company.  The interest is there.

I’m going to give it another shot, I liked him well enough and perhaps I just  need more time.  There is nothing that went wrong on this date, he was a consummate gentleman and I enjoyed myself.

I just realize I am not over Bennett but have to push myself forward.




Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

15 thoughts on “Date 5: A Well Needed Success”

  1. I’ve recently tried similar- with not feeling any sparks but allowing more time. To push forward to try and get over ex.
    I too, am in a position where I know what I want this time around and will go slow with it. I’m not very good or used to cutting men off-specially after a short time- but I’m not wanting to invest in something I know isn’t right for me. Sounds like you’re in the same boat and also willing to push a little just to maybe see if something more is there then the initial.

    Liked by 1 person

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