I spoke to Bennett, nothing changed. He loves me but can’t move forward. That’s pretty much all there is to say. No resolve.
I remind myself that I was hurting too often, and even though now I hurt every day, this will pass eventually.
So on to the lack of my dating life. I have been on and off the dating sites since February. I came off for good from early April until now, and the break did me good. I loaded them back up this week.
What a disappointment.
Maybe I am too old – 49 perhaps scares men away and I consistently see men above 50 that just look too damn old. There are so, so very few men above 50 that look any good to me. And, I must not appeal to anyone that I find attractive either because I am not getting any worthwhile matches and that’s a first.
My age range is set between 44-54 which is suitable for a 49 year old woman with a much younger appearance and attitude.
I am constantly approached by men 40 and younger and I no longer bother, what’s the point? It makes me realize how much I’ve changed this year – casual sex is no longer appealing to me. I actually think back to 2014-2015 and wonder how I even had the courage to do what I did! I don’t regret my escapades, but I no longer have any desire to do any of it again. It’s definitely out of my system. Whatever I needed to experiment with, I’m done.
Men who can’t hold an interactive conversation are gone quickly.
Men who start up with the “hey, sexy” are gone even more quickly!
So this is leaving me pretty empty handed and it’s very discouraging.
I wouldn’t mind a nice summer boyfriend (who isn’t married) to go off and have some fun with and enjoy the weekends I don’t have kids. It seems like it’s gotten much harder in the year I have been out of play. This time last summer I had plenty of choices and lots of dates lined up.
I don’t feel cynical as much as disappointed and a bit worried about feeling “too old” for all of this. Have I aged out of the online dating game? Is a woman approaching 50 just too old for this?