The first two weeks at my new job were fantastic.  I have never felt such a sense of certainty about being in the right place. I like the people, I love the job and it’s a brand I’m excited to represent.  I can already see the potential if I perform accordingly which is super stimulating. My brain is in overdrive with all that I can achieve with a lot of hard work and elbow grease. The best part is, I’m ready for the challenge and I look forward to it.

I feel more in tune with my career than ever.  The right place at the right time.

I am still a bit in awe how things fell into place for me.  I don’t think I live a charmed life, but nor do I look at the trials I have endured as difficult as others may have to endure.  I try to keep my life in perspective.  In this case, I can’t help but think I had help from a higher power.  My last paycheck and insurance completed on October 1st just as my new job and insurance rolled in.

The fact that my x had to pick up the kids on his health insurance is also a small win that wasn’t anticipated.  Since he doesn’t pay any child support, at least I feel like this is a contribution, even if it is a small one.

Now I need to get used to a longer commute each day and determine how I am going to fit in my fitness routine.  I was dedicated to my trainer for 3 months and I felt great (though I didn’t focus on weight loss, unfortunately, just strength).  Now I have to figure out which nights I can get home in time to get to the gym by 8pm, which is the latest session he offers.  I can couple that with one Sunday session and at least have 2x a week with him.  It’s not ideal, but it’s something.

My clothes from last year are too tight so I have to drop these 12 lbs I added on over the summer.  It still keeps me at about 30lbs total that I would like to lose permanently.  I know I need to get back on Isagenix to do this because that particular routine works well for me and is easy to follow.  I’m just trying to figure out the lunch and kitchen situation in my new job before I bring my very loud little shake maker to work!  I did buy a few new things with the start of the job so I have plenty to work with, but want to get back into some of my sexier things from last year.

The morning routine at home seems to work well.  Luckily my new job has a late start so I can wake at 6am and still get ready, makes the boys lunches and get out the door to be here at a reasonable time.  They have to make their own breakfast, but it seems like they can manage or not eat.  I’m gone for work already so I’m not sure what they are doing.

The afternoons when the kids are home hasn’t proved as easy.  The older boys didn’t put away their shirts for a month and I stopped doing laundry…..they learned pretty fast that they need to put away their laundry if I’m going to do it for them.  They don’t clean up after themselves, forget the lights, and leave food everywhere.  I realize we are on a learning curve, but I don’t like coming home at 8pm to a messy house and having to straighten up even if it takes 15 minutes.  I’m as spoiled as they are.

I hired a 28 year old girl to help with laundry and dinner two nights a week but she might be more work that it’s worth.  She needs too much guidance and I think we can manage on our own.  The only thing that still bothers me with no adult at home is that my youngest can’t have friends over, ever, after school.  And, chances are good the boys don’t eat healthy meals.  At least I know 2 nights a week they eat properly.  For now, I will keep her around and see how it goes.  It offers me peace of mind that they are not home alone those 2 afternoons/evenings, they can eat well and have a normal dinner routine, and that my youngest can have his friends over if he likes.  I hate the idea that my job disrupts their lives, if I can help it.

So two weeks in and all is pretty good.  I would say that overall, I have never felt such a sense of balance in my life, even with the adjustment of living without an au pair.




Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

2 thoughts on “Peace”

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