Words I Have Only Dreamed Of

Now that you have a clear idea how crazy Bennett and I are about one another, I might as well add the final nail to the coffin, and then you can bury me for good.

I know I am a Words of Affirmation kind of woman.  However, I have also learned that when the words and the actions don’t match, the words become meaningless.  I have been down the path one too many times of what I thought was harmless flirty conversations where I thought the man was engaged and interested only to find they ghost me a week later.  It took me a hella long time to learn how to stop most of that behavior.

I learned it was a waste of my time.

But, what happens to me when I don’t think it is a waste of my time and I get the reciprocation I need?

My investment of time in Bennett is tipping the scales towards ridiculous.  No moment of my day is not somehow connected to him, he always wants to know where I am and what I am doing.  No stone gets left unturned.  And without prompt, he tells me his daily stuff as well.  This will change in a week or so as my schedule changes, but it’s been a solid 3 months of invested time and energy on both our parts.

So here are some of the things Bennett says to me that have my eyes turning into big moons and giving me silly grins, I have to think to myself constantly – is this real, can someone really be saying all this to ME?

The first time I saw you I was struck by lightning.

You are the most beautiful creature on this planet, I have never seen someone so beautiful.

Every time I see you I have chills.

I watch you while you sleep and I think you have the most beautiful face in this world.

When you walk towards me, the world is in black and white and you are the only thing in color and I can only see you clearly.

I bless the day I found you.

You are the one I want to grow old with.

I can’t imagine life without you in it anymore. 

Those beautiful, crystal blue, game-changing eyes. I was never the same once I saw them up close. 

You are everything I have ever dreamed of. 

You make my heart explode. 

We were meant to be, there is no other explanation. 

I know you. We met in a past life. I’m sure of it. 

You get the idea. I could go on forever.

There is no lack of affirmation.

He’s also constantly trying to help me. If I have to go somewhere he googles the best route. If I’m seeing something he doesn’t know anything about he will ask me and then google it. He is constantly in tune with me. When anything goes wrong. (Like an exploding toilet, true story) he keeps me calm, walks me through it and offers the right advice.

I am baffled how he morphs to me. It’s strangely exhilarating to see my own behaviors – and certainly the things I wished previous men had done for me on any level – demonstrated in spades. I am definitely floored by his ability to read me so well.  I am going to guess his love languages are very closely aligned with mine.

I know when I tell him I admire something he will say “you do?” Because he likes the affirmation.  I’m not sure which would be higher for Bennett though as his physical touch is also very important to him. His touching me as much as I touch him.  I would be curious to give him the test.

Maybe that’s why we are so in sync, maybe having similar love languages does make it easier to understand a partner. I know that it makes it easier to give love the way he wants to receive it simply because I know how I want to receive it.

And, when he sings to me or records a song for me, I’m done. My heart fills to overflowing when he carefully selects lyrics of songs that have significant meaning. There have been at least two or three that have brought me to tears.    He won’t record just any song for me, each is carefully curated and selected and I can hear the love in his voice as he sings.

Being with Bennett is unlike any romantic experience I have ever had before.  The way we can manage to spend so much time connected, almost unable to part from one another continues to fascinate me.

This man makes my heart swell more and more every day.  His words, his behaviors, his actions all lead me to believe there is possibility.  I try not to over-analyze what this means in terms of when it could happen, but I do see him sticking around for good.




Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

6 thoughts on “Words I Have Only Dreamed Of”

  1. Beautiful. Being the horrible bitter cynic I am, I find myself wondering, what are the negative aspects to the relationship? Can YOU see yourself growing old with him, or would this turn sour or too sickeningly sweet and “same-old same-old” after awhile? However it turns out, I enjoy your musings and wish you well.

    Liked by 1 person

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