Hiatus

Considering I’m not working, I can’t even believe how busy I am. Days pass filled to the point where I collapse exhausted. 

I over committed this week because I never like to have too much down time and finally realized that I had to put myself first in order to do what’s best for me. Wrangling my children and my x isn’t always easy because of the humans involved. It’s not like a work project that I can schedule and manage towards a deadline. These humans change things on the fly throwing an entire morning, or even a day, into disarray.  Then they wonder why I am not always compliant with their changing needs since “I have nothing else to do.”  

But see, that’s where they are wrong. I have plenty to do. I spend time at the gym, on a schedule I keep each week. I have books to read, a house and family to run, vacations to plan, and actively ramping up my job search and networking activities. So much to fit into a day that my days have filled to the brim.   

I admit I could wake an hour earlier, but why should I?  I don’t have to spend at least a half hour-to-hour each morning on my back deck with my coffee chatting on the phone, reading or simply sitting and looking at the nature around me. But I do this now because I can. I never could do this before because there was no time to slow down.  I have built in some down time to be grateful every morning.  To think about my life and what I want from it in this next chapter.  

I’m breathing slowly and feeling healthy. My kids and x just have to get over it. I say no to them often and feel less guilt. I’m not a maid because I’m out of work.  My kids have been spoiled their entire lives by nannies so I get it, change is hard for them too, but they are too old to stay spoiled and while I can teach them the value of time, of my time especially – I will. 

With all that said, I’m taking a blog break.  I’m about to head out west for our California vacation for a few weeks and any stories kicking around in my head can wait.  As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve allowed the men to dwindle down to almost nothing.  Bennett remains in the picture on a consistent basis and Ayden will probably check in on me once or twice before asking me out after vacation.  The others are much more peripheral players and can drop by the wayside and I wouldn’t much care. I’ve been so busy with life, and constant communication from Bennett, that there’s no time for much else and that’s ok. 

I may find time to write on vacation, maybe not. But wishing everyone a very happy August and enjoy the home stretch of summer. 

I know I will.  

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

30 thoughts on “Hiatus”

      1. Not would be… AM! I’ve noted your trainer references. The eating thing is way less important at this stage. Making your workouts part of your routine is your primary key at this point. And hopefully when you get back to work

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Amen sister! No one has the right to question whether you can or cannot do something to accommodate them, simply based on their perception that bc you’re not working you just CAN. Ugh. I can relate to this, and it ruffles my feathers. Enjoy your travels, you deserve it!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Always! I’m on a 5 day vacation away from my kids, and the first one ever alone with my husband in the 5 years we’ve been together. Do I feel guilty? No. But I still have that twinge deep on the inside. It never goes away.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s