After the serious conversation at the end of June with Ayden, I assumed the relationship, in whatever strange form it took, was mostly over.
When we parted by text, after that conversation, we were pleasant with a nod to speaking and seeing one another after the July 4th holiday weekend.
He did ask me out following the holiday, as he stated, but I wasn’t available on his night and, instead, gave him my available dates. He choose the 13th which made it about one month between our dates. I thought it would be interesting to see him after the “talk” and after so much time had passed. I wondered to myself if the sex would change with the break and the honesty.
I also wondered if I committed to Ayden when it was possible that Boston or the Handsome Guy would be in town, but my thought was that they were no guarantee an Ayden was. If I was compelled to have sex with the hot ones, I could always cancel Ayden. Ha! Like I would ever have that much choice! But the over-planning self in me liked the thought that one day I might actually be in that much demand!
While we had landed on a night to meet, he ended up canceling at the very last-minute. It was unusual for him and I didn’t know what to make of it. His contact has diminished to mostly nonexistent and I had sent him one sweet text in the month that I was thinking of him and he never took the time to reply, so I just began to think it had faded to nothingness.
After he cancelled, we had tried to work something out but I ended up not wanting to squeeze him in, which would count as the second time I was not available on his schedule. A few days later, I received the following text:
I admit, I was happy that he was still interested and he is entirely consistent. I just don’t like the absence of contact between dates. However, a month has shown me that when I don’t prioritize someone who has made it clear they will not prioritize me, I also don’t end up dwelling on nothing or wasting my energy.
He asked me out, I had an available sitter and I was able to meet him. The next text he sent after my confirmation was that I would be meeting him at a large luxury department store. It was time for shoe shopping.
So, here it is, after all my joking about shoes, I was actually going on a date with a man to purchase them. In all my frivolity, I was really excited.
But, what caught me by surprise the most was how I felt when I looked up and saw him smiling at me.
When I rounded the corner to the store, I saw him before he saw me. As I was walking towards him, he looked up and had a genuine look of astonishment on his face. I immediately recognized what was going on in his brain, because it was the same thing going on in mine. The thought was “I am much happier to see you than I thought I was going to be, what’s that all about?” (To side step for a moment, I did ask him about it later in the evening and he concurred that this was exactly what was going through his head).
You know, it was really lovely to see Ayden after several weeks. Suddenly, I felt a little giddy about the shopping expedition and the evening ahead. I wouldn’t call them butterflies, exactly, but just a real sense of happiness.
When I looked at him, I thought to myself “oh, he’s more handsome than I last recall.” I think the unintentional break did us both well.
Shoe shopping with Ayden was fun, like a lot of fun. As usual, I was the object of his hyper-attention for the evening and he gave much thought over the shoes we would select. Not only did he peruse every brand, but asked me questions (fashion is my background, and I actually have technical knowledge of shoe-making) and paid attention. I wasn’t exactly sure how engaged he was until I tried on the first two pairs. I modeled them and he made a face and told me to “sit” while he went away to get more shoes. He made the next selection and brought them back to the salesperson. This happened once or twice more until he hit upon a pair of beautiful, classic, Jimmy Choo’s. A perfect shoe, and perfectly Ayden.
For fun, he also had me select Louboutins that were about 5.5″ high on a platform and stiletto. I admit I was perched upon these shoes and afraid to walk, but he held my arm and guided me to the mirror. He wanted me to look at how much taller than him I was, and wanted to make a point of telling me how sexy he thought I was. If I had been comfortable in these shoes, even with the height difference, he would have bought both pairs. He loved the second pair of shoes for no more than their sexiness because they were the most impractical pair of shoes ever.
As it was, the Jimmy’s were 4″ and I was already taller than him.
We had a distance to walk after the store, because we just wanted to enjoy a walk in the fresh air and had no ultimate destination in mind, so I opted not to try to teeter down the avenue in a brand new pair of heels.
The evening was lovely and sometimes he would hold my hand, but mostly Ayden is not very affectionate until he is ready to be affectionate. It’s all or nothing with Ayden, and while it’s not my style, he’s so obvious about it that it’s easy to adjust, no guessing required in a way.
After a bit of a lazy walk, he decided we should go to the Harvard Club, an elite social club in which entrance is only granted to those with the Crimson degree. I admit to being awed and entranced upon entering the Hogwarts-like interior and attempted not to gawk at something so massive and resplendent in the middle of a crowded, modern city. The luxury and leather are breathtaking.
Dinner at the club was nice and, as usual, Ayden chose for impeccably us, including a lovely rose´ bubbly as we settled in for more conversation. At the point in which Ayden excused himself to the men’s room, I slipped on the shoes for him and was delighted to see his reaction when he returned. He was actually chuffed and couldn’t stop looking at my legs! He mentioned several times throughout the night, then again in the morning, how much he enjoyed sharing the shoes with me and was amazed how sexy he found them every time he looked down. Dinner progressed to drinks on a rooftop and, for the first time, Ayden enjoyed a rather large cognac and actually began to become effusive! He even slipped, several times, into very personal details, which he is mostly careful about over-sharing.
There is never one moment, not a single moment, that I feel Ayden is not fully and entirely focused on me during my time with him. His unique ability to focus like this is beyond compare. It’s becoming easier to see exactly how he equally “puts me away” when he is not with me. I see the trade-off of getting these full-on evenings with him.
One thing I like, and find surprising, about Ayden, is that he is not afraid to show or tell his physical excitement. His hard-ons are always obvious, and always, very, very hard. Whatever drives his pleasure of me is evident and I love when I catch a glimpse of it in his pants.
For some reason (and, even in hindsight, I don’t know what the reason is) I chose to entirely follow Ayden’s lead in the bedroom. His style is so vastly different from mine that I have consistently found myself becoming frustrated by wanting to do what comes most naturally to me. I am faster and more aggressive than he is in the beginning. Not to say I want sex hard and fast and over with, I just like a bit rough. Ayden is all gentle, soft kissing and stroking and very much into the delayed gratification routine. A slow tease to the ultimate build-up. This time, I let him have his way entirely and was completely submissive to his lead. And, in return, we had the best sex we have had to date. Some of the best sex I have had recently, in fact.
I tried to allow myself to relax and enjoy his ministrations. I told myself the finish line always comes with him and there was no rush. Once I began to let go of my expectations I found him to be much more desirous of me. I could tell how differently he was responding to me. I also knew, when he did kiss me hard and deep, he was doing it for me, to please me. So, perhaps, while this is not what I expect for a lover – I tend to think there should be more of an equal balance – both partners preferring the same or similar styles – I was perfectly content just being there and being attended to. And it just kept getting better.
We had discussed the pubic hair situation over drinks and he admitted to me he had solicited two of his brothers opinions on such. Unfortunately, I lost out because both brothers thought it unnatural to trim pubic hair (could it be a genetic trait?!) I reminded him that this was his choice to forgo blow jobs, and being the creative one he is, he asked if I could give him a blow job while he wore his boxers, so that all the hair was under the undergarment. While I laughed and agreed, it was a relatively clever solution to please both of us. Afterwards, he claimed it was, perhaps, better if I didn’t give him blow jobs because he found it much to hard to control himself.
Ayden stays hard for a very long time and has masterful control. We switch positions often, which we both like, and he finds a nice pace and pressure in each position, certainly adjusting to my own response. I had to laugh, because at one point, while he was on top, a very strange thing began to happen – I felt myself coming close to orgasm. This was entirely unexpected, I have never had an orgasm in the missionary position and certainly not unintentionally! As he kept going and my climax was rising, of course I began to get very loud and even I was aware that we were in a private club while I was grabbing for pillows to cover my mouth. Unfortunately, we fell out of pace and as I could barely catch my breath I gasped ” that has never happened before, I almost came, I have never done that!” Lucky for me, Ayden is a generous lover, and unlike Mr. E. shooshing me, he leaned in close and teased “Mads, darling, you must remember that we are in the Harvard Club and you are going to give these old men-heart attacks, so just a little quieter now, and I am thrilled I am learning what pleases you.”
What a difference in the manner of a man. Next, while he was taking me hard and from behind over the side of the bed, I was sure to have many pillows to scream into, but this time it was Ayden who got a little loud. 😉
As a last-minute decision, I packed my vibrator, Ayden and I had no previous discussion regarding sex toys, but I figure vibrators are relatively commonly used in sex. I am finding out that I am quite wrong about this impression as Mr. E, Bennett, Denver and Ayden all have no experience with sex toys of any kind. During a brief intermission, I suggested I use the toy and he asked if he could just watch as he has never seen a vibrator being used live. I lay so I was opposite to him and he had the full view and asked if he would like to help with his fingers. As Ayden does, he surprised me again with the depth of his excitement when he told me I was making him crazy. While that’s a relatively typical compliment, it’s not Ayden’s style. (Don’t get me wrong, he compliments me often and always tells me he loves my body, but for him to admit that he’s, lets say, over-excited, is unusual because it speaks to a lack of control on his behalf).
Something was different about the sex and about Ayden. Maybe it was the addition of the cognac. Maybe it was the surprise of his delight in seeing me after a month which caught him off-guard. Either way, the evening was lovely. When he collapsed in orgasm, I was the one caught by surprise when he curled up in my arms and promptly fell asleep. I was afraid to move for a while and let him rest, but eventually realized, I didn’t want to be wrapped up in him for an evening, and I cleaned up and crawled into my side of the bed.
As usual, we slept apart, I received the perfunctory hug and kiss in the morning before he got up to shower (I didn’t even think about morning sex!). He admired my shoes, placed gently beside the bed when he undressed me the night before, and then kissed me goodbye.
He had told me many times that evening was utterly perfect. We were both quite content.
I sent one text when I left the room “I think I might actually be glowing today” and, of course, I haven’t heard from him since.