Friday I’m in Love

It’s been a long while since I had crazy, silly butterflies of excitement in my stomach all day, but The Cure concert  sure did it for me.

I was officially out of my mind deliriously happy

And you know what made me even happier?  Sharing it with Finnian.

Yep. You read that right. I had an event partner that I totally looked forward to seeing and having a great time with.

I went into the city early and Finn met me at the station.  We headed to a great oyster bar (really, what else is there?!) to meet my friends before the show. Since I had paid for the tickets he was determined to feed me my ticket amount in oysters.  Ok, that was hard to do but I probably drank the value of the ticket in any case.

I have loved The Cure for as long as I can remember.  So many of their songs hold sensory memories of places and events for me.  I have seen them before once or twice, but I was especially excited to be going with a group who loved them as much as I did. Going with my X wasn’t as much fun.  It’s a shame I don’t even recall much fun with my X but I’m sure there was over 22 years.

The concert was probably one of the best ones I have ever been to, I’m sorry I didn’t go more than one night.  Finn got along splendidly with my friends boyfriend and made easy conversation, then proceeded to buy all the drinks for both my friend and I for the evening (her boyfriend doesn’t drink and doesn’t pay for her drinks, this bothered Finn so he bought them for her instead).

We laughed and danced together and snuggled a bit on the slow songs.  I notice that when he is with me that he is always touching me.  Generally speaking, if I liked a guy, I would have noticed this much sooner (or the absence of it).  There were a few little shared kisses, but not much.

At one point, when I met him at the bar after a quick bathroom run, his phone lit up and I looked down and saw an obvious text from a woman.   It had a phone # only and no name, which usually means it hasn’t gotten far enough in the dating to assign a contact name!  I laughed when he covered up his phone quickly and looked him straight in the eye to say “you just hid a woman’s text from me?!”  He was so awkward about hiding it and I was tipsy by this point so I couldn’t help it.  Later, on the way home he told me about his date.  When I said I didn’t mind, that’s what we agreed upon, he was relieved.  My only comment was that perhaps he shouldn’t be texting anyone while on a date with me (or anyone else).  How would he feel if I did the same to him?  It’s just a matter of respect.  He agreed.

I knew I would be sleeping over Finn’s apartment for the evening so I didn’t want to start anything physical as we would be sharing a bed later and that would be difficult enough.  As it turned out, being in bed with him hardly mattered because I ended up drinking too much.  Rarely do I cross my line, but I think I was drinking the Prosecco like water during the concert and not drinking enough water.    I didn’t feel drunk until we got into the über to head home.

Finn had prepared a very special surprise for me at home, so I knew to request it…a late night snack of homemade lobster rolls.  He was so thrilled to be able to have the cold lobster and special rolls ready to go!  I knew he went to extra trouble for me, so even though I wasn’t hungry, I ate again.  I also noticed his apartment was clean!  Hooray!  He has clearly taken everything I have said to him on board.

By the time I crawled into bed, I passed out from exhaustion and alcohol.  I don’t even recall falling asleep.

We slept in a bit and he was kiss in the morning, but my headache was rebuffing any advances on his part.  This is going to be a sticky situation and require additional clarification.  I need to understand if this is just hugging and kissing in the morning, or if there is a desire for sex.  Morning sex is too romantic for me to share with Finn.  Some drunken, fast sex, ok, maybe.  We have to find the right balance…or at least I do.  He seems to he happy with anything I give to him.

What I notice about Finn is he likes to be appreciated as much as I like to be spoiled.  And it’s not at all hard for me to recognize and acknowledge what he does for me, both in terms of spoiling me and generally just being a really good guy.  I make a point to communicate my appreciation to him often.  As soon as I woke up he had coffee ready for me and even the small act of enjoying my coffee and telling him “it’s perfect” makes Finn happy.

Which led to a discussion about what went wrong in both of our marriages and what we’ve learned from it.  Both of us experienced marriages where we were not on our best behavior, and didn’t know how to overcome the problems once they existed within the marriage.  He was married for 5 years, but it wasn’t a happy marriage at all.

Finn tends to defend my x in stories, so I will probably stop talking about him so much.  I don’t like his stance because it’s too gentle an approach to my x and the abuse I have tolerated over the years.    I can see where Finn might like behavior that is more gentle, because he is the type to back down himself.  This is another good reason why there can’t be any romantic relationship between us,  he just isn’t strong enough for me.

After coffee and showers, Finn drove me home and said goodbye.  He made a point of asking me for a “really good kiss” before he left, as he didn’t have any the night before.  That’s fine, he’s a great kisser and I know it makes him happy.

I spent the day exhausted and recuperating, but totally happy.  We had so much fun together.

We have plans again for a night this weekend, for what else but drinks and oysters on a boat somewhere in the city.

Friday I’m In Love – The Cure

Lyrics
I don’t care if Monday’s blue
Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don’t care about you
It’s Friday I’m in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate…

I don’t care if Monday’s black
Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It’s Friday I’m in love

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It’s Friday I’m in love

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate…

Dressed up to the eyes
It’s a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It’s such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It’s Friday
I’m in love

I don’t care if Monday’s blue
Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don’t care about you
It’s Friday, I’m in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

17 thoughts on “Friday I’m in Love”

  1. I think it’s great you can have a male companion for dinners and events. I will however continue to assert that any wishy-washy sometimes-yes sometimes-no physical interaction is going to be very complicated to manage and is sending mixed signals to Finn, regardless of what you say to him. I don’t think you can successfully delineate between “drunk sex okay” but “morning sex not okay”. I think not only is it not fair to him but because if the mixed signals it could put your tidy little arrangement at risk, ultimately.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hmmm….I thought at first this was going to be a post about actually “being in love.” ( I guess you meant only that Friday?)
    Oh, well….as long as there is honest, open communication between you…what’s the harm in a little casual…anything?

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  3. I’m jealous!! I also love The Cure! And much like you, their songs conjure up some great memories of some great times I had with one lover in particular of whom I still see from time to time after almost 30 years. And the sex is even hotter now with him. 🙂

    Like

  4. Good point by Ann. I love the Cure! Never got to see them, but they conjure up memories of NYU days and friends I hung with. Always throws me back whenever I hear the music.

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    1. Hey Wonder! Pictures of You is such a great song. My favorite is InBetween Days and Just Like Heaven. It was such a fun night!

      Yes, this grey area is just that: obscure. I am not sure how it will/won’t work, and I haven’t put a lot of thought into it and am going on intuition only.

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