The Power Balance Shifts

Finn and I made plans for Saturday evening and, as you can guess, there would be Oysters and Bubbles involved.  We never solidified exactly what the balance between us should/would/could be, but we were both looking forward to an evening of fun and laughter.

We had been talking about how Saturday was National Rosé Day and what fun we could have in the city with that.  Originally Finn thought I meant National Rose day and he had asked me my favorite rose.  I didn’t really know why he was asking that question (I didn’t see his mistake because I was focused on Rosé!)  He sent me a lovely bouquet of my favorite flowers before the date.

He appreciates when I dress up and make the effort, so I do. Makeup perfect, pretty dress and heels.

Before he arrived I acknowledged to myself that I felt comfortable. Knowing the night ahead was easy, no expectations and an easy cadence between us set me at ease.  I could feel Finn falling into my friends category and a place where I feel safe to be myself with someone.

Of course, he arrived with the perfect bottle of Bubbly Pink Sparkles!

Dinner and drinks were so much fun. He chose a stellar restaurant and we like to try new things and share so we make the perfect dinner-mates.  We like similar foods and wine which just makes life easier.  We were more at ease after a couple of weeks break between seeing one another and a conversation, that while maybe not exactly clear, had established some boundaries.

We had a lot of discussion about Finn’s sexual proclivities.  We talked about his kinks and what he was looking for.  He now knew me well enough to understand that while I have the appearance of a dominant woman at first, it’s not my choice of a role in a relationship.  I would be happy to be this for him from time-to-time, but I don’t even really know what that means or how it plays out in reality.  Ultimately, the middle ground became my ability to understand him and not judge him, and this is where his adoration of me becomes evident.  It helps me to understand why he is so willing to treat me the way he does.

I learned a lot about Finn and his quirks and kinks and I am now pretty certain the balance between us is setting itself to rights.  We both felt the shift during dinner.

After dinner we made our way to a local bar we both enjoyed and basked in the busyness around us.  Inevitably, this led to kissing on the couch.  Finn is an amazing kisser and while the thought ran through my head that I shouldn’t let it go there, I didn’t stop him.

We made our way back to the car and he proceeded to become friskier.  By this point he knew I had no panties under my dress and he was begging for a taste of me.  I let it happen. Fooling around in a car parked on a city street is almost as good as fooling around In the middle of a busy department store. Right up my alley.  This time, he wanted to ask questions. “Do I like this, or prefer this, or what feels best?”  While I might find this distracting with others, I knew he needed and genuinely wanted the guidance and I was horny by then.  While he was asking how many fingers he could insert, I must have said “Put your whole hand in” and before I knew it I was being fisted.

Fisting was never something I was interested in on any level, it just sounds too painful.  But I was so wet and so worked up his entire hand slid right up into me more easily than I would have expected.  It only lasted for a few minutes before he pulled out and focused on making me cum.

Finn came home with me and we opened a bottle of Bubbly he brought me (it was National Rosé Day, after all!) and we sat on the beach deck.  For hours. And he found himself between my legs again.

This time I knew I was going to far.  I was going to have a fantastic orgasm again and I would want sex.  And I wasn’t sure if I could return the favor.

But the alcohol, the dawning sunrise and the orgasm had me worked up enough that I dropped to my knees, undid his belt buckle and pulled out his cock.  I knew beyond a doubt there wouldn’t be hair this time and I was right.  His head rolled back in pleasure.

Soon, I bent over the side railing and allowed him to enter me from behind.  It was over almost immediately. He was just too worked up and fully admitted to it.  It had been a long night of pleasure.

We fell into bed together and as usual he scooped me into his arms to sleep.

Waking up to his gentle hugs and kisses is sweet and he didn’t push for more.  I got out of bed to make coffee while he read the news.  Once again the thought crossed my mind that this was easy and comfortable.

We shared breakfast and had discussed that he would be leaving soon after. Without expectation I could sense we were both just being more honest with one another.

I like Finn, I do, and I acknowledge I am the Queen of sending mixed signals to him.  I don’t want to abuse his good nature but I don’t know what can happen between us hat we both end up comfortable with.  We spoke about how we are both receiving something we desire from the other and the ratios hip that’s forming is pretty great.

I realize everyone will interpret this post in many ways and have multiple opinions about how I should be handling myself, and/or Finn,    I found it impossible to capture the nuance between Finn and I other than to say “easy”.  There is something between us that I’m not too keen to walk away from so easily, and it’s hardly about being spoiled by drinks and oysters.

To be certain I wasn’t being overly ambiguous with him, we had a short text exchange after his departure:

At this point in time, this is the best I can do with Finnian.  We will have a further discussion but have agreed we both want to spend time together, whatever that looks like for two consenting adults.

We have plans for next week, for a large concert with my friends.  I am buying the tickets for both of us, and he promised me oysters and bubbles before the music!


Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

29 thoughts on “The Power Balance Shifts”

      1. Yes he knows exactly what he’s in for with you, but don’t be surprised if you both end up falling in love. All that time spent together cuddling etc eventually deposits heavily into ones emotional bank account. Just sayin. 😘😎

        Liked by 2 people

  1. I’m glad you have found some (for lack of a better word) “contentment” with Finn. I believe in the past you have always had expectations … now you’re happy in this instance with him to have few. I think that makes for a happier M (for the moment at least)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I think, in his case, I needed him to drop his expectations of me for sure. Once he did that and let me be me without pretense things really changed. Any relationship can only survive with honesty now in my life and I think that’s what was happening – neither of us being honest with one another

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I love this post! It sounds “easy” between you and that’s something never to be taken for granted. It sounds like you’re both on the same page and what could be better?! I just love this post.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I had felt bad for Fin before because there seemed to be some lack of clarity around where things stood. I’m glad to see that things have shifted and you have gained a nice friendship (with some benefits) from this!


  4. I love this post M.

    You know why? Because you are both communicating and being honest with each other. And if there’s no fireworks but everything else “fits” in a way then I honestly don’t see the issue. I’d love a relationship like this, so much so that if I did meet the love of my life I’d have it in as a clause they need to agree with. But that’s just me 🙂

    I’m really happy that this is where you’re at. And my only worry would be you stop searching and jist get comfy, but somehow I doubt you’ll do that.

    ❤ S xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. With the right person, friendships that are sexual can work. Don’t over-analyze. Just enjoy! But be prepared that when you do meet someone else it will be very important to establish and maintain much stricter boundaries with Finnian – because even lighthearted sexual conversations with a friend can quickly cross lines that are fine now but won’t be then.

    Liked by 3 people

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