*Warning: Graphic post ahead,  Nude images (and no, not mine you dirty minds!)

The first time I was ever catfished I was a little upset.  The dude posed as his younger nephew (he must have been well over 60 years old) and really pulled me down a rabbit hole.  The term gas lighting comes to mind when that happened to me the first time.

I can’t believe that was almost 18 months ago already.

I suppose I have been mostly lucky that I haven’t been pulled into any sincere catfish schemes since then, until I went whole-hog on Tinder in San Fran.

While I was in San Fran, I matched with a really cute guy who was 37 years old, named Greg.  Now, I am going to use all the actual photos and names because he’s not real in any case.

These were his Tinder photos:

The conversation started out pretty simply and I noticed that he was about 5000 miles away.  He told me he is a pilot and will be home on Monday, but I was leaving San Fran on Monday so we couldn’t meet.  Never fear, he would be in my city for a few nights in two more weeks and we could meet then.

I knew this was nothing more than a booty call so I didn’t care and the guy was good-looking and hot.

We chatted on and off and then, unsolicited, he sent me a few photos of himself in all his glory:

Holy hell!  when those photos came up on my phone, my girlfriend saw it and the two of us almost died.  I admit, we looked for some time.

In any case, he didn’t actually start talking sex, just sent the photos and eventually asked for me to return some.  I flat-out said I don’t do that (though I used to think it was so much fun to do it 18 months ago,now there is no way I’m getting involved with strangers and sending my photos goodness knows where).

At some point, he told me about his roommate, Bradley, who was recently divorced and spent 2 weeks a month in my city.  Perhaps I would be interested in meeting Brad?  Then Greg shared Brad’s photos, asked if he could give Brad my photos, and gave me Brad’s number.  A few hours later, a text from Brad arrived and a perfectly normal conversation ensued.  Brad would be in my city the week after Greg, for two weeks.  Perhaps we could get to know one another until then and decide if we would like to meet?

Now Bradley’s photos come through:

Yes, the whole thing was a little strange, but not so badly that I had red-flag radar going up everywhere, so I continued to speak to both men.  One had the potential for an amazing fuck, and the other had potential for some dating activity while he was in my city each month.  Neither did more than fill some time, but that’s ok with me for now.  As long as I don’t emotionally invest, I can manage something more casual.

Over the next two weeks, I am chatting randomly with both men.  Bradley has a mature, disciplined conversation and clearly came out of a relationship recently.  Greg was a hot guy looking for a hookup, but remained mostly polite.

Until he called me the first time, and that’s when the spidey-senses began to tingle.

His voice didn’t match his photo.  I was limited in the amount of time I could speak, but I could hear that he was in a lusty mood and looking for something more on the phone.  I declined and let him know that wasn’t happening unless we met.  We only spoke a few moments before I insisted I go.

Greg called back the next night, looking to firm up plans for his time in my city.  He seemed genuine with date, time and location, but I could hear the desire in his voice again and things started to seem very off to me.  I checked Tinder and his distance was still 5000 miles away and there was a new photo.  He claimed he was in Atlanta.  I exited the call and went and looked back to his Tinder photos and the new one looked suspiciously like “Bradley”:

So, I took these photos and did some reverse image searching and hit the jackpot.

Meet the very handsome Arabian singer/actor Mustafa Sandal:

I deleted “Bradley” immediately and wrote a quick text to “Greg” to ask if he knew Mustafa because they had a striking resemblance!

I haven’t heard back from him since!

I was hoping he would be foolish enough to engage in my text since I kept it light, as I am curious about who he was and where he was.  Was Greg really Brad?

I will never know!

Of course, looking back, I could have seen the signs a little sooner, but I really wasn’t invested enough in either of them and I didn’t spend much time chatting, so I suppose I wasn’t looking for what was right in front of me.

Google reverse image search is one of the greatest tools ever invented!


Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

31 thoughts on “Catfished!”

  1. Wow. I must admit that I was a little taken aback for a minute. I’ve never seen anything like that! I guess I was too used to a little worm.
    Why do people do this? If it’s a fake photo, what’s going to happen when you finally meet? I know one blogger fell for this. He said the girl posted a picture of herself when she was pretty young…and thin…and when they met, he was blown away (and not in a good way.) LOL
    Glad you had your “smarts” on!


  2. I’m on Tinder too, and for the most part any guy who is thousands of miles from me I swipe left on. In the whole 6+ months I’ve been on Tinder, I’ve only actually met one. And I too drooled a bit over those pics you posted! Mmmmm! Too bad he wasn’t real. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well he was matching in San Fran and I bought that he was a pilot because he said he would be back Monday. In my home city I do not swipe right if they are not in the city so images with you there. He must have slipped by initially when I was swiping.


  3. Well, I’m an ex-Tinder user in San Francisco and these images look verrrrry familiar. Pretty sure I matched with this same “Greg” guy and might have even had some brief conversations with him but don’t want to re-activate Tinder to double-check. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The same thing has happened to me! I joined a website a few years ago (like six) and I started talking to a few people on there. Well, it turns out that at least four of them were the same person…All using different names, photos, and countries. It took a while (like four months) for me to actually start seeing inconsistencies and red flags/photos, but it all unravelled once I started digging. I can’t get over people who do it!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was catfished before there was such a thing – back in 1991… Was planning on moving to Idaho with him. Sold everything, moved out of my apartment. He even bought me a train ticket – I had it IN HAND. And, on the day I was supposed to go to him, he told me not to come. Apparently he had changed his mind…

    Haven’t been ‘fished since… Either that or I learned my lesson right outta the gate 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Nope, I never met him. I was young and stupid. The Universe was looking out for me, I’m sure. He told me he just changed his mind and started thinking it would be a bad idea. I moved in with a friend and my heart was only broken for a couple of months. Sex therapy has always been my go-to when I’m hurt. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work… ;O

        Liked by 1 person

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