D-Day Means Something Different to Me

My D-Day is DIVORCE DAY!

Hurrah!  It’s here, I am OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!

I cannot express the sense of relief flooding my body today.  The sun is shining and I feel fine, even the fact that I am currently without income isn’t bothering me today!

Yesterday I had a moment of panic.  I called the attorney and had her walk me through the settlement yet again.  Should I change anything now that I am unemployed?  Should I wait?  What are my risks?

In the end, I chose to settle and pay him the lump sum we previously agreed to.  I walk away a free woman.  The only change was he needed to take the kids onto a family insurance plan through his employer.  He didn’t even want to do that for goodness sakes.  But, in the end, he had to as it was already written into the agreement.

There are several parts of the agreement that could be difficult for me down the road.  Paying him the large lump sum for one.  Had I continued working this wouldn’t have been an issue, but now I could use the money to live on for another 3-6 months rather than paying him.  I need to refinance my home into my name only.  This may not be possible with no income, but I am going to try and do this relatively quickly.  I also have no child support or alimony.  Assuming I am out of work in 9 months, I will have to hire a lawyer to go back and sue for child support.  I waived away rights to alimony (under the previous set of circumstances, he was able to sue for alimony, now the tables would have been turned).

I dressed to impress for court today.  I wore a sexy, work appropriate dress and my favorite pair of Louboutin’s.   I felt great.  Upon arrival at the court my lawyer said “Could you look any more fierce?”  I looked over at my adversary and saw him wearing an old shirt, ill-fitting jeans and Nike trainers.  He looked very unhappy.  I couldn’t contain my excitement.

We had a few glitches and almost didn’t get into the court, but once the judge and location were resolved the process was actually over very quickly.  The judge felt we had set forth a well-detailed agreement that was in the best interest for our children.  I watched his face as he had to answer some of the legalese questions and could clearly see how mad he was.  He thinks the entire arrangement is unfair to him and has always been unhappy.  He wants me miserable and poor, the way he believes it should be.

Poor might be an understatement over the next few months for me, but I know how badly it bugs him that this just doesn’t pull me down the way it weighs on him.

I could barely contain my glee as the judge banged the gavel in declaration that we are fully divorced on this day.

I walked out into the sunshine, head held high, feeling as fierce as I suppose I looked.

2 years of agony and torment over the finances of this divorce are over.  Many of you have listened to the misery since day 1 when I chose to divorce and the day is finally here.  In 3 weeks we would have been married 22 years, such a long time to dissolve any relationship.

I have no regret, I feel entirely empowered and like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders today.

Tonight my girls are throwing a part for me…and you know it’s going to be filled with Prosecco.

I texted everyone, including Bobby (yes, sorry, had to) to let them know my D-Day had arrived.

Divorced.

Once and for all.

I couldn’t be happier.

 

IMG_0337

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

53 thoughts on “D-Day Means Something Different to Me”

  1. Oh M, congratulations! I know this has been a long, drawn-out, exhausting drama, and now you are FREE! You’ll never be completely away from him because of your children, but at least now you are no longer financially responsible for him.

    Like

  2. Congratulations!!!!!!! This has been a long time coming and you have been through so much to get here…but you did it!!!! So happy for you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the cake…both of them. I think decapitation is appropriate for so many of these assholes. I was divorced just three months shy of forty years.
    But….now I’m free. I got rid of his name as soon as I got rid of him….so REALLY free!
    Yay for us both. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My sister kept her ex-husbands’ name. She said she didn’t want anybody to think her son was “illegitimate.” My children are all grown. Loser wanted me to keep his name (and he still puts my initials, with HIS last name) on checks. You know…..HOW or WHY would ANYBODY NOT want to keep HIS name? LOL

        Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s