I have kept in touch with R for the past year or so. He is still unhappy in his situation. He has never, and probably will never, change his behaviors no matter how many times he gets in trouble. He just doesn’t care. It’s clear to me, in hindsight, or perhaps just with a better filter, why I am so attracted to him.
His recklessness is just as bad as mine.
We text on and off relatively consistently. I have seen him for drinks here and there. I don’t recall the last time I saw him but assume it was around January, so several months ago. The chemistry is still there.
I text him last week to let him know I lost my job and that my divorce was about to be final. Two things I always felt comfortable speaking to him about and getting his advice. In fact, he really was the impetus for me to push for divorce. He will always hold a special place in my heart for that.
Somehow we got around to talking about celebrating and he offered to come over and I said “sure, why not.” He was at my home in about 15 minutes. The
The weather is gorgeous and we sat on the back deck with some drinks. He is a pleasure to look at. I could see he had new tattoos but he wouldn’t show them to me in typical R style. I could tell he was looking at me appreciatively but made no move, other than a pat on the leg or arm to highlight whatever he was talking to me about.
We stood to go and we were close, ready kiss goodbye, when he pulled me in tightly and the dynamic changed.
And the laughter started.
It never fails with R, the laughter between us is like a drug. For him as well as for me, I can see how it affects him. Once it starts we are both in trouble.
He moved me towards my loving room and ultimately laid me back on my couch and before I knew it, my panties were off entirely and his face was pressed into my lady bits. Oh, yum, I had forgotten about R’s tongue skills.
We fooled around a bit, his pants coming off and sort of having a little bit of sex. It didn’t last long as he really needed to be back at work and shouldn’t have headed down this path in the first place.
We dressed, for a moment, and he pushed me back to the couch, going down on me again. Such a tease.
Eventually we stood and kissed goodbye properly.
What will come of this?
I have no idea.
He is the one I just can’t seem to stay away from. The minute I start laughing with him any sense goes right out the window. As much time as I have spent being drunk with him, the laughter is even more intoxicating. He is the only one ever to do this to me, to make me belly laugh for no apparent reason at all. I love how I feel so childish with him.
Doesn’t change the fact that I can’t be involved with him, though I have no reason not to play with him. I know I will never get emotionally entangled with him again and he is merely a distraction. I don’t wait for him to text me or pay attention to me. As a matter of fact, he complained I was ignoring him since the last time he text.
Was I? I don’t even know because it doesn’t really matter much.
The afternoon was a little pick me up in between lawyers calls and resume writing.
I wouldn’t mind if there were more of them over the coming months.