How to Get Rid of Boredom | Two Dates in One Evening

Faced with boredom of an evening alone, I made plans with a guy who was from out-of-town, moving to the area in the next few months.  I met him on OKC and we were a decent match at 95%.  He looked a little dopey for my taste but he was 6’4″, seemed quite nice and had a decent cadence in his text conversation.  I decided to meet him for drinks.  He had no car on his trip to my area, so I drove to meet him.

We had been texting for about two days at this point and had one phone conversation.  He was really easy to talk to and we had some common interests.  The sex talk was flirty and careful.   I was interested in meeting him, but there was very little thought that went into this date.

Truly, there is not much to report.  We had set a time limit for 2 hours (I said I had plans following).  He was handsome in his way, a lovely full head of hair for 48 years old, a nice smile and convivial.  We had good conversation over drinks and ordered a little food.  I kept it to two drinks since I had to drive home.

Here’s the thing, while he has been divorced for a while and is in a good position to date, he is still in the process of moving to this area and establishing himself.  This also means he has no life here, no friends.  I cannot be anyone’s sole focus.  I’m not ready for that.  I already started to sense that he was looking for his partner here, and he wasn’t partner material for me.  I didn’t really care for him much one way or the other.

We kissed goodbye and I was a bit taken aback.  While I sensed he was a bit more dominant, in fact he made a point of telling me about this, he didn’t kiss with his tongue!  I hate this!  WTF, man?  Kiss me! And hard!

I had to stop, it’s just not my style

We said goodbye, with the promise of meeting again.

He has since contacted me several times to let me know he is back this week.  I need to say “No, Thank you”  I can’t follow this through based on sheer boredom, I don’t even have a whiff the sex might be good.  I am not good at “No” and I hate to ghost.  Argh.

During the date, while he stepped away to go the bathroom I peered at the messages on my phone and saw one from Finnian.  I had met Finnian over the weekend on OKC.  We were a 85% match.  Text messaging started easily, not over the top, interesting.  He asked me out quickly and when I gave him an option for dates he mentioned he was traveling for several days.

I figured that his travel might be a good indication of how well he was interested.  He mentioned he was coming back too late Thursday for a proper date and that meant planning for the next week.  Could we sustain communication for 10 days?

As it turned out, what started as a gentle ebb and flow got a little silly one night when he was drinking.  No lines crossed, just a little silly sweetness in his text.  It was cute.  And so it went, his text became a little more telling and a bit more frequent.  He was interested.

So, back to the date, when I saw Finnian’s text that he had a second wind and asked if I could consider meeting him out late (he knew I was out, just not with whom) I jumped in quick and said “Sure, I will come to you!”

My date finished with that weird open mouth no tongue kiss and I was off to meet Finnian.

I parked my car and went to meet him in the designated restaurant when I realize he is walking towards me to look for me.  He is handsome but slight.  Tall but not tall enough.  I smell soft.

Aaaaaarrrrrgghhhh.  I didn’t get soft in his message tone!  I missed it.  And I didn’t get the slight build either, realizing his full body photo he had a coat on.

Then he smiled and his whole face lit up, oh gosh, he’s cute.  He held out his hand to take mine.  He sweetly kissed my cheek.  He didn’t ask what I wanted to drink and ordered Prosecco.  He looked me in the eyes while speaking.

Hey, what’s happening here?  He’s not so much my type.  But I like him.

We drink a bit and he offers food.  I’m famished and we select pizza together.  As we are walking to the pizza place, he grabs my hand and pulls me into him.  Considering I had just been on a date with a guy who was 6’4″, I had on 4″ heels or so.  Finnian is just 6′ so I was taller.  This is a real distraction to me.  Plus, I felt bigger than him.

Then he kissed me.  His hand brushes across my hair, sweeping it off the front of my face and firmly plants itself on the back of my head and pulls me close. A perfect kiss.  A surprisingly dominant kiss.  I felt my entire body relax.

Ok, maybe I can do this after all with Finnian.

The night ended with some great kissing in the car.  I am pretty certain I upended him with my kissing, he was hot and I could tell he didn’t want to leave…and not in the “I want to jump in bed with you” kind of way, he liked me, a lot.  He didn’t want the night to end.

Oh goodness, I know how he feels.  Just not with him. 😦

Finnian had the butterflies.

 

 

 

 

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

15 thoughts on “How to Get Rid of Boredom | Two Dates in One Evening”

  1. I’d like to be a fly on the wall when one of your escapades in in full swing! I found your disappointment about getting “no tongue” interesting. I could not stand that! Maybe Loser was just a bad kisser. I finally told him not to give me the tongue anymore. I found it to be disgusting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yea probably in a different way. Upend means affected to the point of fluster – and why he forgot his phone and wallet.

      I don’t think he thinks he dazzled me at all. He is consistently telling me how surpised he is that I am such a generous person in our interactions. He is dazzled.

      Liked by 1 person

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