Undeniable Chemistry

Another high match on OKC, 95% this time.

Handsome, very tall and built.  Boom!

Great education and, as a first, wrote in his profile that he is looking for a relationship.  I believe he even mentioned he was ready to be vulnerable.

He wrote first and I could tell he didn’t have the savvy of an experienced on-line dater.  The dating app text were short, but inquisitive.  He asked me out after 5-6 text.  (see last post!)

I declined and suggested we move to regular text and he agreed.  We went back and forth a bit before he suggested we speak on the phone.

I already knew this was moving too fast.

And then he called.

That voice.  It went straight through me.  Articulate, well-educated and kind.  He had a sexy growl.

Damn growls gets me every time.

What is it with two people when the conversation flows so easily?  When there is banter, laughter and sexual innuendo woven through and entire conversation that never quite crosses the line to inappropriate.  When both parties are clearly listening and focused intently on the other?  Where does that instantaneous chemistry come from and why is it so elusive?

I knew from the first few sentences that I would be excited to meet him.

He asked me out quickly, too quickly perhaps because it was the first phone call and he wanted to take me out in a few hours after work that same evening.  I had a therapist appointment planned and promised myself I wouldn’t be missing another evening of working out.

The longer we talked, the more we connected.  We had similar taste in lifestyle, aligned in our family beliefs and worldly desires in life go forward.  The dialogue was easy and natural.  I could tell he was a little nervous, he really seemed to want to ask me more and more questions each time I would answer something that we were aligned on.  Almost as though he couldn’t believe we had so much in common.

I will say he was a breath of fresh air after so long.

But what started to make me nervous was my response to him.  I could tell I was getting ahead of myself and getting excited.  This man pretty much ticked all the boxes and I hadn’t even met him yet.

He was handsome, but not exactly “my type” of handsome so what was I getting myself worked up over if I didn’t dig him in person?

Not only that, he was assertive about “finding the one” and getting into a relationship.  He seemed to have a specific list of criteria he was matching me against.

We ended our conversation with him asking me once again to cancel my evening plans to spend with him …. he would be happy to drive me home later in the evening so I didn’t have to worry about the commute.

I hung up the phone and spoke to my girlfriends about it.  They know how down in the dumps I have been and thought this was a perfect reason to go out and be adored and admired.  They made reservations for us at a hip bar with amazing cocktails and I sent him a text to say “ok, I’m in, meet you at 6pm”

He answered immediately and was thrilled.

I was excited, but still unsure.  Why was I hesitating?  Am I scared to jump in or just more aware of moving too fast?  There was something about him I hadn’t yet put my finger on, and I was ignoring my better sense.  Either way, I accepted a date very quickly and had made the commitment for the evening.



Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

44 thoughts on “Undeniable Chemistry”

  1. I hope it goes (or went) well.
    Sometimes I find in life that when the very thing I seek is in front of me, that I get nervous. It means a change in my own identity. Vulnerability with a high match could set that off… ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve got to get that train of thought under control lol… And yes, I would agree even more vigorously that you need to keep initial communication brief and meet them quickly for a SHORT date and with a hard end time. I worry you’re already too far down this path now with him…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. “this one”… oh honey you make me smile 🙂
        Perhaps this is my own revisionist history of your dating, but I’m hard pressed to think of someone you liked where you didn’t go too far, too fast. And don’t use the Cowboy as an example… you had doubts 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Being a married and not dating person, I find it curious the balance between enough prior meeting interaction and too much. If he’s not very experienced with online stuff, meeting sooner may be a natural step. I really love the wise Ann advice about a SHORT first meeting/date.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m so excited for you…when all of the elements come together and instant chemistry is there–it’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Your caution is warranted though, so I get why you would feel nervous regarding how fast things are moving. Can’t wait to read your next post!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Nothing wrong with a date after several texts and a phone call. Why else are you communicating with him in the first place. You’ll just be talking but physical together. Just keep it in your pants

        Liked by 1 person

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