Meeting MaggieMayat50

I love the experience of meeting my favorite bloggers for the first time!

I have been very lucky to find wonderful, supportive, caring and brilliant people through this blogging community and, sure enough, Maggie is no different.

We met while I was on vacation with my children, she kindly drove to meet me for some drinks.  Upon meeting her, she was exactly as I pictured her….isn’t that strange how we can get an image in our head?

I imagined her to be attractive, slim and have a lovely smile.  She was all of those things plus a brilliant mind.

I suppose everyone would think that we spoke about blog-land the whole afternoon but we didn’t, not at all.  It was like two old friends catching up.  And she is so funny…if she doesn’t tell you the Hunter drug test story I’m going to because I was fascinated!

Poor Hunter was worried that I might kidnap the darling Maggie with my wild, provocative and Prosecco-drinking ways!  I did, in fact, drink quite a lot of little bottles of Prosecco (those little bottles get me all the time – they are so darn cute!)

I got to see photos of Taz and the wedding and let me tell you – Taz is gorgeous!  Maggie looked pretty damn fabulous too!

Upon parting, it occurred to me how badly I need local women like Maggie in my circle.  My friends have always tended to be younger and more junior to me in one way or another.  That doesn’t make them any less amazing friends, but I acknowledge that the women I have met through the blog tend to be more mature – even if that doesn’t mean in age.  They have all worked good careers, raised families, traveled and have just tend to be more wise than the friends I have in real life.

I sort of wonder why that is?  Have I surrounded myself with the women I have at home through some unconscious reason?  Or is this just the type of person I attract?

How does one go about making friends in their middle-age?  I work and obviously have friends through work (some of my closest girlfriends have been made at work actually).  The friends I have at home, mommy friends, are all married and tend to want to live a more sedate life than I do.  Sometimes I feel so split in multiple personalities and wonder how to integrate (my multiple personalities) into friendships.  My kids are too old for playdates anymore, and frankly, none of the moms are all that fascinating to me…I have passed the point of local gossip and they still do that even in the high school years.  Although many of the moms are super supportive and just lovely all around people in times of need, I can only count one or two that I can rely on for advice.

I like the idea of having more people in my life who are wiser that I am.  I do not admit to being very wise and mature, ever…though once in a while hope shines through.  This is why I love blogland so much…I have met some seriously wise men and women whom I can now count on as my real-life support system.  Unfortunately, none live in my backyard but with all our technology, no one is further than a text away.

My mom had some serious advice for me when I was about to get married.  I asked her why my bridesmaids just couldn’t get along and play nice with one another in the sandbox.  They kept arguing about what they each thought was best for me and none of them really agreed.  Actually, they were arguing about their individual preferences (remember, they were all around 21-23 years old, babes in the woods) and what they thought I might like was probably quite secondary to their selfish, youthful thoughts.  My mom turned to me and said there is a friend for all seasons and I need to learn to recognize the value that each friend brings into my life.  There were friends I could read with, ride bikes with and party with…but each of those friends may not like to do the other activity, so I should just simply try to read with the reader, ride bikes with the biker and party with the partier and leave it at that.

Best advice I ever had.

For keeping the peace and maintaining my friendships, it is.

In hindsight, it created a very diverse set of friends who don’t know each other or hang out together.  Or, in my case, who may not even live on this side of the world.  Friendships like this are hard to maintain and cultivate because of the distance, but I remain friends with many people who do not live in my daily space because I feel I have a deep connection to them.  I just wish I could find some people who lived in my space that I could share more time with…now that I have so much free time on my hands.

Or, I suppose I could start traveling ever weekend….now, there’s a thought!

 

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

20 thoughts on “Meeting MaggieMayat50”

  1. Awesome advice for sure!
    I remember always feeling slightly jealous when I watched sex in the city of the beautiful relationship those for women had with eachother. They were like soul mates. Female friendship is not so easy to come by, but there is nothing better.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Yes – you hit the nail on the head! I think exactly the same thing. And there is another show I adore “girlfriend’s guide to divorce” predicated on the same principle of strong female friendships…and I always watch and wish I had that kind of posse in real life!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow. I seriously could have written this – the part about friendships. And, I was seriously going to write a post about my friendships, which was inspired by last weekend’s drinking debacle. I have a small handful of friends I would trust with my life. They are lifelong friends, and none of them really know or hang out together, and they all live in different areas (thankfully within driving distance to me). It IS tough to make new friends at our age. At least that’s what I’ve found. I have plenty of “superficial” friends – those I enjoy chatting with, but I’m not really trusting enough to confide in. And I realized yesterday while driving to work how valuable my closest friends are for that very reason. We all need people we KNOW will walk through hell with us, no matter what.

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    1. I agree – I do have several friends I would trust with my life and my children – but would I also trust them with all my secrets? I’m not so sure, I think they are so vastly removed from my current life that they would judge me – now, perhaps I am wrong, but I have known them for many, many years. Some people are just not meant to know “everything” I think.

      I have lots of pleasant friends too, and I do have lots of deep friendships….I just wish I had them here so I could cultivate the in person relationship. Someone needs to know where I hide the bodies! lol

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  3. All of my female friends are separate as well. I have a different friendship with each of them. My very closest friend threw me a 40th birthday party a couple of years ago and invited all of them…it was incredibly weird to have them all in the same place mingling with one another and it went well. At least I think it did..I was pretty intoxicated early on in the evening so I am hoping everyone got along!! Lol

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    1. I think that’s so wonderful that someone threw you a birthday party and invited everyone! I would be the same – drinking and just thinking everyone should have such a good time!

      I did have a rather eclectic group of friends for my Christmas celebration this year and it went very well – I will certainly extend the circle next year!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This was a great post. I have found more friends in blogland than I have ever had before. Granted,in the past, most of my so-called “friends” belonged to Loser but the friends I have now are all mine! I too, wish they lived closer. I wish we could pick a spot and have everybody converge at once….talk about a party! Woohoo!

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    1. My mistake was allowing some of my friendships to dissolve while married…just because he had no friends, that might be one of the few regrets I have but I plan on fixing that now – I just don’t know how to go about meeting real life buddies!

      The party sounds good to me – sign me up!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Your mom’s advice is spot on. I’m one of those people that have many aquaintences but my friends are very few. The ones I’ve met here in the States are okay, but none of them will compare to my best friends back home. So I have moms that I enjoy talking autism with and there are moms where I can have coffee with. But I’m yet to find that one loyal amazing friend.
    And like you, I’m connecting with people on the blogosphere which is fantastic! You never know, we may meet one day 😉

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    1. My mom really did know everything – I just wish she was around longer for me to finally grow up enough to listen to her advice…I was such a late bloomer in my relationship with my mom.

      I am the same – moms to talk about the Asperger’s, or the teens or school – some just coffee and recipe buddies. I am lucky to have loyal and amazing friends, but I still tend to think they are compartmentalized.

      I would love to meet one day! I have found meeting other bloggers to be one of the greatest things to happen to me in the past couple of years!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. After I became a mom myself I realized how my own mom was so right about many things. I, like you had a late relationship with my mom. But when I did, I enjoyed and loved every moment…wish she was here still
        I think one of the things on my to do list is to meet the amazing people I got to know here on WP. It’s kind of surreal that I’ve clicked with so many 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aw, I wish my mom was still here too – I was such a late bloomer, not until my 3rd child did I really begin to fully appreciate her own life…the one thing I know is that she would finally be pleased with how much more self-aware I have finally become!

        And I love the WP community – it is amazing how many like minded people you find here. It’s a tribe 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. We did have a great afternoon – didn’t we?! I find it fascinating how friendships are formed through our private musings/writings. I agree with M — good girlfriends are hard to come by. Mine tend to be older than me — always have. I met my closest girlfriend at a women’s business lunch. I wanted her as a client but instead got a dear, dear friend. I won on that one!

    Thanks for the wonderful post — you made my day!! Hugs to you!!

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    1. Thank you! I wish you lived closer – I think you are such a lovely and brilliant person, and I can see it in your eyes how genuine you are! I am glad that The Hunter let you out of the house to meet your crazy Prosecco drinking blog friend!

      Hugs back!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh M, I completely understand where your head is at! Meeting Maggie sounds fabulous!!! So jealous, I’m sure you two had a blast!!!

    I have an eclectic mix of friends too. Having lived overseas, some of my dearest friends are spread all over the globe. These are the type of friends where you pick up where you last left off, and the conversation flows. Thank God for FB.

    In my day to day life, I have a great group of moms who I adore (all met thru my youngest child’s school). These are my dinner/drinking/working out/we have each others backs kind of moms. All fabulous in their own way and I hate to think of us “breaking up” once we divide off into different elementary schools. But like your moms advice, I realize that sometimes friends are here for just a season or if you are lucky, more.

    Like you, I can now say I have “blogging” friends too. I’ve been lucky to meet a few so far. Each time it’s very exciting for me. I find there is a deeper connection with bloggers because we know each others darkest secrets. So as one once said, “We really should have secret decoder rings for our special club!”

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    1. Well, I have to make it back to your side of the world again so we can have our drink together as well! 🙂

      I need a posse like you have, I like the idea of having a few ladies to hang out with that you can do anything with…my issue is that the ones I have don’t live close or don’t have children – it’s so hard to find similar situated females!

      I am all in for the secret decoder ring!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I enjoy blog land too. People here are much more supportive of my writing than most folks I know in “real life.” I’d like to make more writer friends and hopefully collaborate with bloggers in other countries to work on projects and perhaps eventually meet in person. It’s a unique world.

    Liked by 1 person

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