I switch between about 3 different dating apps…Tinder, Bumble, and OK Cupid. ASV gave me another one called Coffee Meets Bagel but that one seems like a bust.
Bumble tends to put forth the best looking guys, matches are easy enough, and the woman has to write first. If I match, I say “Hello.” Every single time. Mostly, I don’t get responses.
Tinder matches much more frequently than Bumble, and on Tinder, I wait for the guy to write first. Maybe 1 every 10 men will actually initiate a conversation.
OK Cupid works well for many, but I have found that in my area, it’s mostly the bottom feeders of the dating community. I finally gave up and cancelled my renewal subscription because I just wasn’t meeting any quality men on OKC.
Coffee Meets Bagel was slow…you only had so many choices a day, and if you wanted more choices you needed to pay extra. I did pay extra at first to see how it would work (I added beans to my coffee machine). I chatted with two guys in a month. And then suddenly, every match turned Asian…wtf? Did I change my selection preferences or did they suddenly cover the entire city Asian market? It was the strangest thing. I have no more beans to pay for matches, I’m not attracted to Asian men, and it’s too slow going for me, so I don’t both with the app anymore.
So, that pretty much leaves Bumble and Tinder, which are mostly the same thing but the aesthetics of Bumble are just a tad better than Tinder.
I match often, matching isn’t a problem. Hearing from someone, that’s another story entirely. The other week I was excited about 2 matches for about 5 minutes because they were just my type on paper and they unmatched me within the day. Why? I will never know! Especially when they matched me first!
Anyway, the point of this post…..how best to say “Hello” the first time around?
I know what doesn’t work:
You look like trouble
Want to have a drink?
To be fair, they all worked for me when I first started dating, but I am a tad more evolved now and know better than to entertain those guys!
There have been a couple lately that just make me melt a little:
Hi pretty girl
Hi M, can’t take my eyes off your smile
Hi there, you have the most beautiful, bright eyes….
Then there are the ones that really might be sweet if I didn’t think the men were just crazy to begin with, I mean, guys, this is too much:
Hello Beautiful Angel, You look like a star at night and the brilliant sun of the day
Hi, Look no more text me and let’s get off this site
You are so beautiful and down to earth (how do you know that?!)
I don’t know what happened to just saying “Hello.” A plain simple hello. If I like your photo, I will reply.
Maybe I have it wrong, but it seems the easiest way. When I have to write first on Bumble I will always use their name and something simple: “Hello so-and-so. Happy Thursday” and keep it straightforward. If they like my photo, they respond. Really, it’s easy.
Why does this internet dating thing need to be so ridiculously difficult?