First

Welcome, friends.

Here it is……my first post.

I thought April 1st seemed as good a day to start as any!

Starting a new blog is a bit like breaking in new shoes, they are not always so comfortable at first, but you are pretty sure you will get used to them in time.

I’m still fooling around with my image and tag line…I’m sure something will speak to me soon.

Am I reinvented, reimagined, reaffirmed, reawakened?  Maybe all of those things.  I want to consider my life an adventure, somehow that seems important to me – a beautiful, wonderful, exciting adventure.  I want my tag line to reflect these possibilities.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written and I actually feel a bit rusty!  I have found that journaling is good for my soul and has become an important part of how I process things.

I wish I had something witty and clever to start with.  Or an adventure or two to share.  But, my life is mostly quiet at the moment which is a reflection of my peace of mind.

Taking a break turned out to be healthy for me.

Once I set my mind to closing the last chapter, I found myself exhausted.  Sure, work stress added to it, but I am pretty sure it was more mind over matter.  I found myself sleeping by 8-9pm each evening, getting up, going to work early, and then coming home to fall asleep early again the next evening.  My children even commented that I seemed exhausted.  I felt this way for almost 2 weeks.  I knew the time to rest had come – my soul was insisting on it and I listened this time.

I spent a lot of time with myself, reflecting on all the changes in my life over the past 5 years.  I was consumed with endings during that time.  When I looked back and truly absorbed what I had been through, I needed to give myself a break.

I also spent time reading for therapy.  Mostly self-help stuff. I also spoke to my therapist quite a bit.  I am determined to clear the cobwebs in order to move myself forward… to a more balanced way of thought and action.

In order to discover who I am meant to be in this next phase of my life, I had to let go of all the things weighing me down.  Letting go clearly isn’t easy for me and I’m sure I’m still not going to be any good at it the next time I have to do it, but I have learned how to be more conscious and aware of my thoughts and behaviors.

With that said, I have no doubt I will still have many moments of immaturity and recklessness.  I sort of like that wild side of me.  She needs to be nurtured the same as the responsible and loving side of me!

 

 

Author: Madeline Harper

My journey through divorce and an emotional and sexual reawakening. Love, laughter, friendships, family and heartbreak included. And there is sex, lots of it, so close your eyes and turn the page if that's not for you! While I started this blog as an endeavor to journal my thoughts and feelings in an attempt to better understand myself, it has become an amazing platform from which I have met some of the most interesting and wonderful people in my life. My path is often crooked, but I hope you will share in the journey with me.

36 thoughts on “First”

  1. Welcome back! Glad to see this post, I always like your writing. I am glad the break was helpful for you……we don’t need crazy stories (right now..for sure later! Haha) I know for me I was just wanting to know how you are doing! You sound very introspective and much more calm…you sound grounded.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I certainly do feel more calm and in control. I gave in to acceptance which hasn’t been easy for me but necessary.

      I’m sure the craziness will come – it’s always just lingering under the surface with me!

      Thanks for being here Sassy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s more of a self reflection upon yourself. As you change, things that use to matter no longer have any value nor any satisfaction. At least that’s how it’s been for me. I’ve come to believe to create my own adventures. Fun times πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes I think Sassy is right. You sound very calm, which I take to be a very good thing, given the recent past. Plus it will help build your strength to prepare for the shenanigans I know are to come

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Welcome back. I am glad you have refreshed and started a new. Your new header is beautiful, exciting and stimulating. You sound so rested and calm in this post. The break was an excellent idea. Will continue to follow as you go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Forester – thanks so much for the kind and caring words!! I am so glad you like the new header, I wanted it to represent the next phase of life which I hope brings me joy and happiness and lots and lots of smiles! Thanks for following me!

      Like

      1. Ok I’m caught up. It was like bingewatching a series on Netflix lol. I do think you’re sounding a lot more stable and mature. I feel like you and I have learned a lot of important lessons in parallel. None of the guys mentioned sounded particularly interesting. This may be more of a time for you to just settle into being happy with your life post-divorce.

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