Hello

I’m alive. Regrouping.

So much has happened since 9/6. 4 surgeries. Many complications. But I’m home, trying to go through the motions of doing the right thing.

My body is screwed up but my head is worse. But we can only manage so much at a time – so first the body.

Soon, the head.

Thank you for all well wishes, care and concern. My head just isn’t in a place to focus or write.

US Soil

I have been all over this crazy, wide world but never, ever, ever (and I’ve been shot at through a civil war in Sri Lanka) was I so happy to cross the border from Mexico to USA.

I arrived to the San Diego airport in one piece. I’m sitting and waiting and enjoying trying some tea or Thai noodle broth (sans noodle) after 2 weeks of water and ice pop.

I am exhausted. My low back hurts. I have one pain pill to crush and take once on plane as well as a Xanax. I am as ready as I’m going to be.

I’ve got 4 doses of blood thinner in me.

This is the best I can do to get home. Otherwise, checking myself into and emergency room in SD seemed a bit more risky as my doctor isn’t here either. She suggested I go to the urgent care and let them scan me, represcribe better antibiotics and can’t cut me open again. This way I’m home and I can make any decisions needed with my own team of doctors.

I feel strong (ish). It’s hurts like a mofo as expected. But I’m going to get home. I know it. If a blood clot spreads in the air, I’m doomed. It’s a risk. A real risk.

The nurses wrapped my tightly in compression bandages so it’s a bit uncomfortable but does loosen over time. It also helps with pain moving as my belly is totally held in place.

I have to change my bandages once on my own before I fly. The lounge doesn’t have any private baths so I can determine if I just do this the moment I step on the plane. I have about 45 mins to decide.

Prayer for me that I arrive safely with no further complications.

Love y’all ❤️

Quick Update

Sorry to be MIA. Hasn’t been an easy week and typing a blog or reading one just haven’t had the desire or energy.

Don’t recall what I’ve written before but I am still in hospital in Mexico. I get to go to San Diego tmrw

I can catch a flight or check into an emergency room.

The doctors here think I will be fine to fly. I’m a bit scared due to the blood clot situation but I am on blood thinners which is the best current options.

As soon as I arrive home I would have to check into hospital in any case.

So recovering slowly but moving forward every day.

Thanks for your prayers

Small Update

Somethings not right. When I get my fluids and meds I feel fine. But about 4-5 hours after that I drop off into a cliff of nausea and pain and need more fluids and morphine.

I’m drinking and eating (soup broth and ice pops) as well as going to the bathroom and passing gas. I can walk and move with no problem. Everything looks good but I spoke to the doctor today and they want to scope me again and if necessary fix anything that needs to be fixed.

Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s slow healing due to all the fibrosis they found. I’m so scared and alone. The people who have been with me on Thai journey are texting and calling from everywhere to pray for me – I Am always fascinated at the kindness of strangers.

I’m wrapped up again for the surgical suite and waiting my turn.

Happy 51st Birthday to me.

Last Night in TJ

Saturday was pretty tough but we nailed it down to my nausea causing the pain and my BP To spike. The surgeon allowed morphine 3 times yesterday and I got through the last 15 hours much better. Had a terrible and disgusting gas accident but whatever was in there needed to move as it elevated some cramping.

Sunday started good with a small saline cocktail and I’ve been consuming lots of clear liquids. I stopped meds at 1 but by 6 pm I could feel the nausea and pain coming back. Nurses agreed to give me my saline cocktail early at 7, so I didn’t choose to take pain meds til now with the hopes I will sleep a little bit.

Completely stressed about flying tmrw.